


Infliction of Pain

by cadkitten



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Bloodplay, Bondage, Character Death, Cutting, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Orgy, Parody, Racism, Snowballing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-01
Updated: 2008-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The woven fabric of life, ever changing, sometimes dull and stiff, sometimes colorful and soft; this is the burden of humanity. One decision, a world of hurt. A new leaf, an array of possibilities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hatori leaned back against the cool tile of the boy's bathroom wall. He allowed his eyelids to slowly close as the first half of the day's events washed over him. A shaky sigh left his lips as the taunts and jeers he'd endured came back to him. He'd never really been popular, but he'd never been treated like this either. He was beginning to understand the anger and suffering of some of his peers and worse, he knew he'd only begun to feel what they had to endure on a daily basis. This torture would remain with him throughout the remainder of his senior year; that much was glaringly obvious to him. Briefly he considered trying to play his own words off as some kind of joke.

A single tear slid down his cheek, falling to dampen the collar of his Gackt t-shirt. He let a half strangled sob escape him as he sank to the floor.

No, it wouldn't help to lie, to go back on his words. If anything, it would only hurt him later on in life.

Slowly he let the words he'd spoken and those of his so-called friends filter through his mind once more.

Hatori's hazel-green eyes shone with a brilliance that they had been lacking for far too long. He seated himself on the concrete riser next to his friends - Julie, Frank, Mina, and Thomas. The early morning sunlight caught his blonde hair, lending him an air of innocence rarely found in one his age. "Hey, you guys."

They all turned to look at him. Thomas gave him an odd look. "You okay, Hatori?"

Hatori stared at the ground in front of him, too nervous to look directly at his friends as he spoke. "I... I've been living a lie."

Julie gave him a skeptical look, "Wadda ya mean, H?"

Hatori drew in a deep breath and steeled himself as best he could. He'd thought long and hard about doing this and had come to the conclusion that his friends would understand and support his decision. He continued to stare down at the ground as he blurted out his response, "I mean... I think I'm bisexual. I think that if I'm attracted to someone, then their gender shouldn't matter." He glanced up at his friends, hoping to find acceptance reflected in their eyes. Instead, what he found made him feel slightly ill.

Four sets of eyes stared back at him, shock reflected clearly in their depths. The next words he heard made him wish that time would reverse so that he could swallow his own words.

Disgust lay thick in Frank's voice, "So... you mean you wanna take it up the ass?"

Hatori cringed at the wording his friend had chosen to use.

Mina and Julie both made gagging sounds before chorusing, "That's disgusting, Hatori!"

Hatori glanced at Thomas, hoping he'd bail him out, but he found anger in his friends blue eyes instead. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as he stared at the boy that he considered his best friend. "Thomas?"

Thomas stood up, his fists curling at his sides. His voice was low and threatening when he spoke, "How dare you. You sick, twisted, fuck." He moved closer and in the next instant his hand was around Hatori's throat.

Hatori clawed at Thomas's hand to no avail. Fear knotted in his stomach, tightening with each passing second. White spots began to appear before his eyes and panic slowly set in. But even through the haze he could hear Thomas as he nearly screamed at him.

"Fuck you, Hatori, you stupid shit! I spent the night at your house last year! What were you doing then? Spying on me? Fantasizing about me? You're disgusting! Pathetic!"

Abruptly intense pain radiated from Hatori's stomach as Thomas planted his fist solidly in his midsection. The grip on his throat gone, Hatori gasped for air as he reeled backward. A foot to his groin sent him to his hands and knees. The sounds of laughter rang out around him and an inundation of taunts began to flood his ears as he struggled to breathe.

"Fag."

"Queer."

"Hey, Hatori, wanna suck my cock?"

Hatori winced, thankful for once that his hair was hiding his face.

"Well, guess what? You can't, you sick fuck!"

"Stay on the ground, where you belong."

"Haha, yeah! Just like the bitch he wants to be! On all fours!"

The bell signaling six minutes before class rang, sparing him much more shame. But before he was left alone, Julie's voice reached his ears.

"We're not your friends anymore, Hatori. To us, you no longer exist. We don't want to be known for hanging out with a queer. Got it?"

He nodded slowly as he heard his former friends' footsteps retreating. Pain radiated through his body as he hauled himself up onto his feet. He picked up his book bag and headed for homeroom.

For the next three class periods he had suffered through the whispered comments behind his back, the knowing glances, and worse, being tripped in the hall... twice. Lunch hour had arrived and the bathroom in the art building had become his savior.

The warning bell sounded and still he remained in the bathroom. Six minutes passed and the final bell rang. Hatori pulled out his math book, thankful that homework wasn't due until Monday. He flipped through the sections to 7.2 and began to read.

As each bell rang and the second half of the day's classes progressed, he remained in the bathroom, studying each subject as if he were in class anyway. The final bell rang and the hall was filled with the noise of chattering students and slamming lockers almost immediately. He shoved his books in his bag and slipped into one of the stalls, waiting until the halls were silent before he emerged. Pain still radiated from his abdomen each time he moved and the walk home was much longer than usual.

Once inside his house he only made it halfway up the stairs before collapsing. He wrapped his arms around his middle as he desperately fought the tears caused by the physical pain.

His brother, Maru, appeared at the bottom of the stairs and called up to him. "You okay, Hatori?"

Hatori shook his head, unable to speak without crying out in pain.

Maru rushed up the stairs and knelt by him. "Is it your stomach?"

Again Hatori shook his head.

"What's wrong? I can't help unless I know, Ori..."

"I... Thomas... ahhh," he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain before continuing, "He hit me. I feel like... someone's stabbing me."

"Shit... come on," he looped his arms around his younger brother, pulling him up from the floor and heading for the garage, "we're going to the hospital."


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours later, Hatori lay in his room, staring up at the ceiling. The hospital had determined that nothing was wrong beyond severe bruising and they'd prescribed him some pain medication, and then sent him home. Thankfully it had finally kicked in and he was merely uncomfortable, rather than wanting to scream from the pain. His door creaked open and he turned his head to see Maru in the doorway.

Maru came in and sat on the edge of the bed. He clasped his hands in his lap, nervously rubbing his thumb over the ring on his left middle finger. "Tell me what happened today... please?"

Hatori turned his head away from Maru, keeping his mouth firmly shut.

Maru reached over and placed his hand over Hatori's, his eyes reflecting the truth of the promise he was about to make. "I would never do anything to hurt you. Whatever happened today, no matter what caused it, you can tell me."

Hatori slowly shook his head. "I can't... I just can't. I don't want you to hate me too."

Maru gave him a troubled look. "Ori, you should know by now that I could never hate you."

A soft sigh escaped Hatori's lips. "I made a huge mistake. I made a personal decision about myself and I told my friends, thinking that they would understand, but they didn't." He fell silent and resumed staring at the white ceiling.

Maru's hand tightened on Hatori's. "What was your decision?"

Pain of a different kind surged inside Hatori and he fought the urge to simply let the tears carry the pain away. When he spoke, his voice came out slightly choked. "It doesn't matter anymore. I've changed my mind." The blatant lie hurt far more than he'd expected it to. He trembled slightly as he began to lose the battle with his emotions.

Maru's stark blue eyes watched Hatori as he spoke. He shook his head and sighed softly. "You never could lie to me, Hatori. I've always seen right though it. How you live your life is your choice, but I'd prefer you never have to live a lie while you're around me."

Hatori's reply came out as almost a whisper. "Swear you won't hate me, that it won't change how you treat me."

"I promise, Ori."

Hatori swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. "I... I told them that when it comes to love, gender shouldn't matter." He cringed slightly, waiting on the barrage of insults to come. As the seconds ticked by and no insults were forthcoming, he slowly met Maru's eyes.

Maru shook his head as he gently squeezed Hatori's hand. "Those bastards beat you up over that?"

"They didn't just beat me up... Thomas damn near choked me to death before punching me in the stomach and kicking me in the nuts. He seemed to think that because he'd spent the night here before, that I was spying on him... getting off on fantasies of him while he was here." Hatori shivered slightly. "I wasn't... but the truth doesn't seem to matter much. Even Mina and Julie didn't understand... not that I really expected them to. They said things that really hurt... I guess I should have expected as much, but I honestly thought that at least Thomas would understand."

"They're closed-minded fools. Simply because you deviated from the 'norm' they decided that you're beneath them. I know the feeling far more than I want to... my only condolence for you is that college is different, more accepting."

Hatori wanted to ask how Maru knew, but he let it go, assuming Maru would tell him if he wanted to and if not, it wasn't his place to push it. "I just don't understand. They reacted as if I'd said I was gay. They called me a fag, queer... a sick, twisted fuck and even said that I was where I belonged, on the ground, on all fours, like the bitch I wanted to be. And on top of all of that, word got around before class even started. I could hear them all, every whispered word behind my back, every insult. I even got tripped in the hall twice. I spent all of lunch and the rest of the day, in the bathroom."

Maru sent him a sympathetic look. "And now I understand the doctor's note. Are you going to school tomorrow?"

Hatori closed his eyes for a moment. "I don't know. If I want to get into college, I have to keep my grades up... and homework's due tomorrow."

"I could take it in for you if you'd like."

"I should probably go... but, if I don't, everyone will see me as weak, an easy target. Besides, their words can only make me stronger in the long run, right?"

Maru shook his head. "Even if that were true, you can't let them beat the hell out of you on a daily basis. You're in no shape to defend yourself right now."

"It doesn't matter. I won't ever fight back anyway. If I did, I'd be in trouble with the principle and I can't afford that on my permanent record."

"Records aren't everything you know. There's something to be said for protecting yourself."

Hatori shifted slightly and inhaled sharply as pain lanced through his left side and groin. "Fuck..."

Maru helped him sit up and gave him a worried look. "What hurts?"

Hatori shook his head. "Don't worry about it... just help me stand up." His brother took his arm and helped him to his feet. He shuffled toward the door, almost falling twice from the sheer intensity of the pain. Once he made it to the bathroom, he locked the door and untied the string that held his sweat pants on his hips. The material ghosted over his skin as it fell to the floor. He leaned heavily against the wall beside the toilet as he relieved his aching bladder. Once he was done, he glanced at himself in the mirror on the back of the door. His eyes widened in slight shock as he took in the reflected image. "No wonder it fucking hurts..." A deep purple bruise had begun to form on his inner right thigh and another almost covering his right testicle. He slid his fingers over the sensitive flesh and winced. The flesh on the left side of his abdomen was already red and irritated looking, a sure sign that it would be black and blue by morning.

A voice inside him took up the role of chiding him. 'What have you done, Hatori? You go and open your big fat mouth and let them do this to you and all because you made some stupid decision about your sexuality. Couldn't you have just stuck to girls? Forgot about the guys? Maybe they're right you know... maybe all you really want is some guy's cock rammed up your ass. Or maybe it's that you enjoyed the taste of your own cum a little too much. Is that it? Maybe it's your own perverted way of getting off that made you get all hard at the thought of touching another man. Disgusting and pathetic, that's what it is. It's all your fault...'

A sharp knock on the door snapped his attention back to reality and he realized that he was crying. He swiped the tears away and fumbled for his pants. "Just a minute..." Once he was properly clothed again, he opened the door to find Maru, looking rather worried, on the other side.

"What took so long? Are you sure you're okay?"

Hatori shrugged. "I'll be fine... eventually."

Maru took his arm and led him back to his bed. After tucking him back in, he leaned down and brushed a few stray blonde strands of hair from Hatori's forehead. "Don't let others change you. Be who you are, who you want to be. In the long run, you'll be unhappy if you don't live life for yourself. Just remember, no matter what you decide, I'm here for you... I always will be."

Hatori smiled ever so slightly and nodded.

Maru allowed a small smile to meet his lips as he turned off the light. "Get some rest before tomorrow."

"I'll try... goodnight."

"Night, Ori." Maru closed the door behind him, leaving his younger brother to his thoughts as he waited for sleep to claim him.


	3. Chapter 3

Maru glanced across the dinner table at his brother. Conversation had been a rare occurrence ever since Hatori had gone back to school. Three weeks and counting until the end of the term and still he wouldn't even look directly at him, much less start a conversation. Maru set his fork down, unable to keep up this ridiculous pretense of everything being perfect any longer. "Ori..." he waited on Hatori to respond, silently praying he wouldn't just ignore him like he had been doing.

Hatori set his glass down on the table and glanced up at Maru. "Hmm?"

Maru leaned back in his chair and leveled his gaze on Hatori. "I can't keep doing this. I feel like I must have done or said something wrong at some point for you to act like this around me, Hatori. I swear to you, whatever caused this... I never meant to do it, it was completely unintentional."

Hatori gave him a look of surprise and confusion. "Act like what, exactly?"

"Like this. You act like I don't exist. You don't say a word to me. I ask you something and you completely ignore me. I can't take it anymore, Hatori. We used to get along so well. We'd share everything with one another, but now... well, now all I get is silence. I know it's hard, me being your legal guardian and all, but I've never been a hard-ass on you. I've never done anything to you that I wouldn't have expected out of myself. Where did I go wrong, Hatori? Tell me... please."

Hatori's heart pounded in his chest and his throat tightened considerably. He stared down at his hands as he twisted them in his lap. "You didn't do anything wrong, Maru. It's my fault... I just," he closed his eyes and shook his head, "I just... I never know what to say anymore... how to act around you or anyone else... nothing. I feel like a little kid lost in a department store. Everyone started treating me different after," he gritted his teeth and swallowed hard, "that day."

Maru silently listened to Hatori's reply, unsure of exactly what to tell him. Once Hatori had fallen silent, he did the only thing he could think of, and spoke his mind. "Guilty as charged. I admit it. I did start to treat you differently after I found out everything that happened. But hear me out... I only started treating you differently because I didn't want to hurt you like they did. I forced myself to think about what I say, how I act, everything. I didn't want to say anything you could even remotely think was meant as an insult. But, in my defense, you just stopped talking... period. At least I still tried."

Hatori sighed softly. "I suppose you're right... you usually are. Still though... you didn't have to sensor yourself so much that I felt like you didn't want to talk to me about anything besides the weather or what's for dinner. You used to tell me about how your day went, or the latest joke you'd heard, or something you saw on TV or on campus. I miss all of that." He ran one hand through his hair, "I can't change the past. I can't take back what I said. It may have been a mistake on my part, but, like you said, I can't change who I am for anyone but myself. I can't live a lie."

Maru stared down at the table while he formulated a reply. "Hatori... I supposed it's time I tell you the truth. Do you remember when I said I knew your pain more than I wanted to?"

Hatori nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, there's a reason for that. I would have told you, but something you said stopped me. You said that everyone reacted like you'd said you were gay." He glanced up to find Hatori watching him and he quickly looked away again. "I didn't know quite how to take that."

"All I meant was that they just automatically decided that I wanted to take it up the ass. They didn't even consider that I might still want to be with a girl. That's all I meant by it."

Maru nodded slowly. "Okay. Well... the truth then." He shifted slightly in his seat before continuing. "Junior year of high school, I decided that I couldn't live a complete lie anymore. I told one of my friends how I truly felt about him after class one day. Let's just say he wasn't too pleased with me after that. In fact, he was displeased enough that the following day, after class, he and four of his buddies worked me over pretty well. Remember when I had my arm broken in three places and the doctor said a simple fall never would have done that?"

Hatori nodded. "Yeah, I remember. I just figured you'd gotten into a fight that you didn't want to tell mom and dad about."

"Heh, some fight that was... completely one-sided. My arm was the least of my worries. The things that that were truly broken weren't nearly as easy to mend. My heart, my pride... my virginity."

Hatori sucked in a breath at the last declaration and Maru continued to stare at the table.

"I've never told anyone that, Ori. You're the only one who knows. Don't ever tell anyone else, okay?"

Hatori nodded. "I won't, Maru, I swear."

"I lived in fear of what they'd done to me for two years. I isolated myself from everyone, not allowing anyone to get close enough to me to ever find out. Freshman year of college, the student health center offered free testing for STD's, AIDS, all of it. Two weeks after that, I found out I'd been living my life in fear of nothing. All the results were negative. Basically, I got lucky."

"Why didn't you go to the police? Get them all arrested?"

"Would you? I mean, truthfully, would you go to the police and tell them that you basically got gang raped by four guys because you told one of them that your feelings for them were more than they ever should have been?"

Hatori thought about it for a minute. "No, I guess I wouldn't. I'd be half afraid they'd tell me it was my own fault."

"That day changed me for life. I'll never be the person I used to be again. I'll never be able to feel like I can just be myself and be honest about my feelings for someone like that again. I keep it all to myself now. While my experience may be different from yours, I still know how you feel. I just wanted you to feel like you could tell me the truth... all of it. But, at the same time, I was afraid of how you would react if you knew all of the truth about me." Finally, he met Hatori's gaze. "Did you tell me everything, Ori?"

Hatori shrugged. "I think so... I mean, Thomas bruised me up pretty well when he kicked me, but other than that, I think you know about it already."

Maru heaved a sigh of relief. "I assume it doesn't hurt anymore?"

Hatori shook his head. "It took a few days, but I'm fine now... in that respect anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"It's nothing, just forget about it." He could feel his cheeks heat with embarrassment as Maru stared at him.

"No, it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything about it in the first place. What is it?"

Hatori picked his fork up and began to shove the remainder of his potato around his plate. "It's just... I can't..." he gestured briefly with his fork, waving it over his plate, "I can't... you know... anymore." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

Maru gave him a startled look. "At all?"

Hatori flushed. "No, I just can't... finish. I don't think it's a physical thing... you know?"

"How so?"

"I just get to a certain point and I guess I start thinking too much..."

Maru felt his own cheeks getting hot, but he ignored it and pushed on anyway. "Just be blunt with me, Ori. Exactly what happens?"

"I... uh," he sighed, "well, I get aroused, try to do something about it, start to think about how pathetic I am, and then, no matter what I do, it just... goes down." His hand shook as he placed his fork back on the table beside his plate.

"Oh, I see." Maru sighed softly, "Why do you see it as pathetic?"

Hatori sighed slightly. "Because it is."

"If that's true, then every male in existence is pathetic."

"No... it's just a certain part of it that's pathetic, not all of it."

"Oh? And which part would that be?" Maru looked mildly amused.

"I'd rather not say."

"I won't judge you, I promise... and I'll answer any one question you want in return. So, what part?"

Hatori's heart pounded in his chest as he stared down at his plate. "Well... I, uh... I do something... something most guys don't, I think."

"You think... you'll never really know unless you compare notes or something." He gave him a slight smile.

Hatori began to feel slightly dizzy and time seemed to speed past him. He decided the feeling wasn't worth it and he just spit it out. "I like the taste of my own cum. But, now, whenever I think I'm getting close, I think of that and how pathetic it is and I can't get there. Happy now? Now that you know your brother's a complete pervert?"

Maru pursed his lips, attempting to hold back a smile. "That's not perverted, Ori. Kinky, maybe... but not perverted, and definitely not pathetic. So you like the taste of something that comes out of your own body, so what? I think most guys have at least tried their own once. Hell, I do it." He shrugged. "Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion."

Hatori digested this information and slowly nodded. "It's stupid... how did it become such a big deal that I can't get past it?"

"Habit I suppose. Do anything long enough and like it enough and you'll automatically want to do it every single time."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Next time, just try thinking about how it'll feel, how much you'll enjoy it. None of this pathetic bullshit."

Hatori put his fork on his plate and made a small sound of compliance.

Maru stood up and picked up the dirty dishes. He headed for the kitchen, pausing at the doorway for a moment. "No more of this not talking crap either, got it?"

Hatori pushed his chair back and stood up. "Alight... I'll try." He pushed his chair back in and headed upstairs to his bedroom.

Late that night, he found himself more aroused than ever. As his hand stroked his throbbing length something akin to desperation began to set it.

His breath rasped out into the silence of the room, only serving to arouse him further. 'Ah, fuck... so close... I need to cum so bad.' He closed his eyes, allowing his desire to dictate him. His hips arched against his hand and he let out a little cry of pleasure. 'So good... I need this. Yes, oh god, yes.' His hand moved faster over his aching arousal, stroking him ever closer to the release he so craved. He cried out as his control shattered and pure bliss flooded his body. The warmth of his essence flowed over his fingers and he let out a sigh of satisfaction. 'Finally...' Without even thinking about it, he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.

He turned over onto his side and pulled the sheets up around him. A small, content smile graced his lips as he fell into a restful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Fear and trepidation knot deep inside of me.  
The look in your blue eyes isn't what I'd hoped.  
The wind catches your hair and lifts it ever so slightly.  
You move toward me, a smile on your lips.  
Something tells me not to trust you in this instant.  
I ignore it and remain as I am, waiting for you as you asked.  
Slowly you press me back against the alley wall.  
Your smile slides into a smirk as your hand caresses my cheek.  
I shudder as your fingers ghost so delicately across my skin.  
Your name breathlessly leaves my lips before I can stop it.  
The heat of your breath whispers past my ear.  
Within your confessions, I find myself dying.  
Your words tell me of your hatred, of how you despise me.  
Every syllable you speak is a part of this waking dream.  
I feel myself sliding toward this nightmare, dripping with terror.  
My heart clenches and I feel the sting of my pain welling within my eyes.  
Desperately I push against you, begging, pleading.  
I want nothing more than to escape this.  
This shouldn't be happening.  
It wasn't supposed to turn out like this.  
As your hands grasp at me, I realize something.  
I cannot move past you without this.  
I cannot let you go without the infliction of your pain.  
My heart aches as I realize the horrible truth.  
Enlightened by your intentions, I let the river of my emotions flow.  
Salty trails down my cheeks, symbolizing the act you intend to inflict.  
Your movements are so abrupt that I do not realize until too late.  
My clothes ripped and tattered, lie at my feet.  
Your heat presses against me as my cheek presses against the wall.  
I close my eyes and whisper my last plea.  
I hear the laughter of more than one, from behind me.  
I cringe as I realize that we are no longer alone.  
And then I scream as you impale me.  
The pain rips through me, white hot and violent.  
I can feel the crimson truth sliding down my thighs.  
I dig at the wall before me, my eyes clenched shut.  
Desperately I try to block it all out, to pretend it's not real.  
Your voice haunts my ears once more, telling me it's far from over.  
A shudder runs though my body as you hit something deep within me.  
Confusion and anger build within me at the immediate response.  
You only thrust harder, intent only on the end you strive for.  
As you complete, I feel the warmth of it spread within me.  
What should have made me feel loved,  
Had this worked the way it was supposed to,  
Only leaves me cold and empty, feeling slightly ill.  
You pull away and I collapse to the ground.  
Hands grasp at me and I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to know.  
Unfamiliar voices fill the crisp night air.  
Pain radiates throughout me as my body is used once more.  
This time I cannot keep back the sobs.  
This time, it isn't even you, the one I loved.  
Why do you treat me like this?  
How did I become your whore?  
I confess one small emotion and this is your reply.  
I feel a weight on my chest and I want to look, but I do not.  
To look would only bring me a deeper pain than this.  
Warmth spreads within me again and then that pressure is gone.  
I can still hear the rasping of breath and still feel the weight upon my chest.  
A warm liquid splatters over my face and I don't have to see to know.  
The weight leaves me free to breathe, free to move once more.  
But, instead, I remain, lying on the damp concrete.  
It has not rained recently.  
The dampness can only mean one thing.  
Two sets of footsteps retreat.  
I slowly draw my hand across my face, disgust filling me.  
I open my eyes and I find you staring down at me.  
Harsh words spill from your lips, raining down upon me.  
I turn my head away, tears spilling from my swollen eyes.  
I cry away my love for you, allowing hatred to stand in its place.  
Your foot presses against my upper arm and I wince.  
Your hand takes mine and I tense, ready for pain I already feel coming.  
Three sharp cracks and the sound of my screams fill the still night air.  
The ragged edges of pain recede and I find myself alone.  
I lay, cloaked in darkness, afraid to move for almost an hour.  
When I do stand, I realize the harsh reality of it all.  
You used me, you abused me.  
My love and my truth turned our friendship to abuse.  
Conclusions formulate, a heavy veil descending upon my life.  
A steel cage begins to take shape around my heart.  
Never again will I confess such a truth.  
Never again will my true feelings be revealed.  
Never again will I be someone's bitch.  
I hold my head high as I leave the scene of your crime behind.  
I am not your whore.  
I am not your slut.  
And no one shall ever know,  
That for one, lowly, night,  
I was all of those to you and your followers.

Maru placed his pen upon the oak desk and rubbed one hand over his eyes. He felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his soul with the words he had just written. For the first time in days, he finally felt the tension within his weary body ease. He stretched and yawned. His fingers ghosted over the paper momentarily, a slight smile playing over his face.

"Tonight, I can finally let you go."

He pushed away from the desk and stood up. He breathed a sigh of relief as he fell onto his bed, pulling the sheets up around him.

"Never again will you haunt my dreams."


	5. Chapter 5

Maru sat at the kitchen table, sifting through the last two days worth of mail. He was lazy and he knew it, but hey, it was only two days worth, not a week, or worse, a month... right? His tongue slid out ever so slightly and he caught it between his teeth and chewed on it lightly as he continued to toss junk mail into one pile and bills into another. He paused, blinking down at an air mail package with a Japanese stamp on it. Slowly, he let the rest of the mail fall to the table as he turned the package over and over in his hands.

'It can't be... there's no way.' His hands shook as he started to carefully tear the seal off of the package. 'The odds were several million to one... my luck isn't that good... it has to be a consolation prize or something.' He slid the contents carefully onto the kitchen table and picked up the letter part first, opening it and beginning to read.

Dear Maru Nakamura,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have won first place in the art contest hosted by 落日の上昇. Congratulations! You know what this means, don't you? Well, if you didn't, you will now. It means that yourself or your chosen stand-in has won an all expenses paid month on tour with the entire band!

Ishida and the rest of the band will meet you at the closest airport (listed on the tickets) on May 18th in their private jet and off you will go, into the land of every fan's dreams!

You will only need to bring any medication, clothing you may want to wear, your passport and photo ID, and extra spending money if you want it. Your food, habitation, and trip are completely paid for.

We hope you will enjoy this as much as Ishida and the guys think they are going to!

Sincerely,  
Urema, Staff Representative for 落日の上昇

Maru sat back in his chair, his hands shaking almost violently as he examined the rest of the contents of the package. Round trip airline tickets, itinerary for every hotel along the way, font row tickets for the first concert, as well as a VIP badge and a signed photoset of the entire group. Everything had Hatori's name neatly printed on it, just as Maru had requested happen in the off-chance that he won.

He swallowed hard as he heard the front door close and his brother's footsteps in the hallway. His voice was slightly shaky as he called out to him. "H-hatori?"

Hatori appeared in the doorway to the kitchen a few moments later. He stared at Maru for a moment and then gave him a questioning look. "You okay?"

Maru nodded. "I'm fine... I have something for you, something I know you're going to like."

Hatori approached him, stopping at the end of the table and idly rooting through the junk mail with one finger. "Yes?"

Maru held out the letter for his younger sibling to take and sat there, smiling, as Hatori unfolded it and began to read.

Hatori's face went pale and his mouth fell open ever so slightly before he carefully re-folded the letter and held it back out to Maru. "You're the luckiest guy on earth right now."

Maru shook his head and held out the rest of the packages contents. "Nope... you are."

Hatori took everything from his brother's hands and began to read the names on things. "T-they all have my name on them." He lifted his eyes to stare at Maru. "For me? All of this... for me?"

Maru nodded. "I sent in a portrait I did of you for the art contest and chose you as my "stand-in" for winning. I never thought I had a chance in the world of wining this, but... it appears I was wrong." He smirked slightly. "It's the best graduation present I could have gotten you, so I had to try."

Hatori carefully set everything down on the table and then flung himself into his brother's arms, plunking down in his lap in the process. He rested his head on his brother's t-shirt clad shoulder and smiled. "You're the best brother ever, Maru."

Maru smiled as he leaned down slightly and buried his nose in Hatori's soft blonde hair, closing his eyes and simply enjoying the display of affection that had become so rare between them. "No... you are, H."


	6. Chapter 6

Hatori leaned back against the brick wall with a sigh of relief. His hands slid over the textured surface behind him as he allowed his eyes to drift closed. The heat of the sun beat down on him, proclaiming this to be the hottest day of the season so far this year.

The rest of the graduating class of 2006 from Kiawaki High poured out of the local University's stadium. Voices of hundreds of people rang out around him; a plethora of greetings, insults, and goodbyes. He filtered the voices out, allowing none of them to reach him within this pleasantly sheltered place inside his mind.

If school itself hadn't been hell enough, graduation had topped it all off with a sharp twist of its bitter blade, directly to his gut. He'd briefly wondered if things could possibly get any worse and then had quickly found out that they were quite capable of becoming far worse. For whatever reason, the people in this small town of his, were the most unforgiving bunch of bigots he'd ever heard of.

The ceremony had kicked off with someone having placed bright pink, already chewed, gum on his seat, forcing him to sit on the edge for the entire time. About twenty minutes in, a paper airplane had come, sailing down from the crowd, directly into his lap. Emblazoned in bright red maker on the top were the words "Hatori is a fag". As if that hadn't been bad enough, the teacher who retrieved it from him, had given him a dirty look when she read it. And to top off the rotting pile of stink that was this day, when his name had been called and he walked on stage to receive his diploma, approximately half of the graduating class had screamed various homosexual references at the top of their lungs. Very few people clapped. As for those that did, he would be eternally grateful to them for making it all hurt just a little tiny bit less. If it hadn't been for them, he'd have never kept the tears at bay.

But none of that really mattered now. It was all over, done with, now officially a part of the past. Tomorrow was a bright, new day. He shed all of the pain of today as best he could; finally cramming it all inside the stupid box that always ended up holding his pain. A hand gripped his shoulder, lightly shaking him and his eyes flew open. He blinked briefly, his eyes re-adjusting to the bright light. Once everything came back into focus, he found Maru standing in front of him, looking particularly worried.

"You okay?" Maru swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, hoping against all hope that his younger brother hadn't taken all of the insults hurled by his classmates to heart.

Hatori nodded slightly. "I am now..." He pushed away from the wall and started walking off toward home. "Come on... Let's get out of here."

Maru hurried after Hatori, quickly catching up and settling into stride beside him. They walked the several blocks to their house in relative silence; the only sounds were their footfalls on the concrete sidewalk and the occasional scrape of a pebble as it shifted beneath their shoes.

Once inside the house, Hatori ran up the stairs, pulling his graduation gown over his head as he went, intent on beginning packing for his trip the following day. He raced into his room and came to an abrupt stop as his eyes fell upon his bed. He quirked an eyebrow and then back-stepped into the hallway. "Uh... Maru?" he called down the hallway.

Maru came into view at the top of the stairs and smiled broadly at Hatori. "I took the liberty of packing everything for you, except one thing."

Hatori haphazardly threw his cap and gown into his room and then crossed his arms over his chest, smirking at Maru. "What? Too afraid to touch my underwear?"

Maru snorted, "Nope. I didn't pack any of your clothes. Know why?"  
"Uh...'cause they're all dirty?"

Maru shook his head, "Because you and I have a trip to take to the mall today."

Hatori gave him an odd look. "Huh?"

"Don't be thick, H. I'm buying you new clothes," he pretended to give him the once over and then gave him a suggestive look, "you have to look hot for when you meet you're biggest crush ever, right?"

Hatori's mouth fell, open ever so slightly and then promptly snapped shut. He glared daggers at Maru for a moment. "Humph... how would you know who my biggest crush is?"

Maru snickered. "Oh, don't think I don't know why you have that huge poster of Ishida plastered to your ceiling above your bed. I'm not as ignorant as you may think."

Hatori's face turned bright red at the comment and the implications of it. He knew why he had the poster up, but that sure as hell didn't mean that his brother should too. "Shit, Maru... do you ever think before you say things?"

Maru snickered. "Yes, in fact, I do. You just don't like the fact that you can't deny it!"

Hatori opened his mouth before really thinking about what he was saying and snapped back at his older sibling. "Oh, yeah?! Well, I'm not the one with an entire collection of hardcore yaoi manga, now am I?"

Maru blinked slowly at him and then started laughing. "Been going through my special drawer, have you?"

Hatori flushed again, this time hanging his head, allowing his blonde hair to fall over his shoulders and partially hide his face. "Umm..."

Maru did his best to stop laughing. "Okay, enough of this. Are we going clothes shopping or not?"

Hatori continued to stare at the floor, but gave a slight nod.

"Good, then let's get going." Maru pulled his keys out of his pocket and started down the stairs.

Hatori followed after a moment, his cheeks still flushed a pretty pink.

\-----------------

Once at the mall, the two headed directly for Hot Topic, a gothic/punk clothing and accessories store that had recently moved into the local mall. The smell of fresh paint still lingered in the air around them as they began to browse through the clothing that hung from the many hooks on the walls, testifying to the fact that it was, indeed, a new store.

Hatori grabbed a pair of baggy black pants that had at least twenty zippers in various places and turned them around a few times, finally placing them up against him and leaning over slightly to look down at himself. A slight smile found its way onto his lips as he made sure they were his size before draping them over one arm and continuing to look around.

Maru picked out a few anime T-shirts in Hatori's size that he thought he'd like and then added one that said 'I dig guys in skirts' to the pile with a slight smirk. As he headed back toward his brother, he paused by a rack of various accessories. He pulled a few different earring sets, some arm bands and fingerless gloves off the rack and added them to what he was carrying and then made his way to stand beside Hatori.

Hatori glanced up and smiled at his older sibling. "This is great, Maru... really... it is."

Maru nodded. "It's the least I could do, since technically, I didn't pay anything for the actual trip." He shrugged slightly. "Do you need to try these on or not?"

Hatori shook his head. "Nope... whenever I get something from here, it always fits right."

"Are you ready then?"

Hatori nodded, "Yup."

They headed for the cash register and the red-spiky-haired cashier. The young man snapped his gum loudly as he rang up their purchases and shoved them into bags. Lazily he asked for the amount that was due and Maru forked over his credit card, while Hatori looked slightly dazed by the amount alone.

With all their shopping done, the pair headed back home to finish Hatori's packing and wait on the following day with much anticipation.


	7. Chapter 7

Hatori grumbled to himself as he rushed down the busy corridor of Emerson International Airport, his roll-along bag in one hand and his boarding pass clutched tightly in the other. "So much stupid traffic... and now I'm practically late for the flight. God! Stupid people don't know how to drive around here."

He accidentally bumped shoulders with a man who looked to be in his early fifties and he cringed slightly, but kept going.

"Hey! Watch where you're going! You stupid kid!"

Hatori glanced over his shoulder. "Sorry!" He refocused on finding his gate number and sped up his pace even more. "Shit, shit, shit... shit!"

He turned the corner and found himself faced with yet a second security checkpoint. He groaned and rushed to the shorter of the two lines. "Ah, man... another one?"

The lady in front of him turned around slightly and smirked. "Pain in the ass, isn't it, kid?"

He nodded. "Especially when you're already running late... I'm never gonna make it."

"How long have you got to get to your flight?"

Hatori glanced at the large clock on the pillar beside the last conveyer belt. "Umm... twenty minutes."

The lady arched an eyebrow at him and then poked the man in front of her on the shoulder. "Hey, Harry, this kid only has twenty minutes to get to his flight. Let's let him get in front of us."

The man nodded and leaned over to talk to the three teenagers in front of them and all of them scooted to the side. "There you go, son."

Hatori gave them a grateful smile and shuffled past them. He found himself second in line and he smiled more and glanced back. "Thank you so much!"

The lady smiled and pointed at the ticket check lady. "No problem."

The ticket check lady took his boarding pass and then asked for a picture ID. Hatori handed her his driver's license and she put a pink highlighter mark on his boarding pass, beneath the green one that was already on it, "Last line on the left, hun."

He rushed past her to the line and then emptied the contents of his pockets into a plastic bin and placed his rolling bag and backpack on the conveyer belt beside the bin. He waited on the security man to tell him it was okay to step inside the large scan-machine and then did so. The automated voice inside told him to stand on the red line and face forward. He did and air puffed out at him abruptly. The machine continued to give him a red hand for almost a minute and then gave a green walking person and opened the Plexiglas door in front of him to let him out. He stepped out and then waited while a large burley man waved a metal detector wand over his entire body. Once he was cleared, he collected his bags and all of the stuff out of the plastic bin and rushed off down the corridor once more. He sighed with relief when he arrived at gate R13. He rushed up to the counter and held out his boarding pass to the lady standing behind it.

She smiled at him and then picked up the black phone in front of her and spoke very quietly to someone on the other end.

After a minute or two, the gangway door opened and two rather large men in black suits came out and walked up to Hatori. "Hatori Nakamura?"

Hatori nodded as he stared wide-eyed at the two men and stuck out a hand with his boarding pass and ID.

The taller of the two men took both things and examined them carefully, then nodded and handed them back to Hatori. The second asked Hatori to set all his baggage on the floor and then proceeded to pat him down and check the contents of his pockets very carefully.

Hatori's breath caught in his throat as the man practically groped him in the process of his body search and then gave him an odd look when he asked him to open his mouth. The man peered around inside his mouth for a moment and then began to root through Hatori's luggage, opening every possible pocket and unzipping every zipper. The other man was already going through the contents of his backpack.

Hatori stared at them, but didn't say a word. His emery board got tossed into the garbage can next to the counter, as well as a small bottle of hand lotion and his half empty bottle of water. Still, Hatori said nothing. For all he cared at that moment, they could throw everything but his clothes out and he'd still be on top of the world.

A few minutes later, his luggage had been completely re-packed and each man had picked up one item. All three of them set out down the gangway toward the private jet, the heavy metal door clanging shut behind them. Both men remained completely silent as they traversed the enclosed tube toward the white door of the plane.

Hatori's stomach began to tie itself in knots as his nerves frayed at the edges. For some reason, their silence was only heightening the nervous feeling he'd had all morning. By the time they were crossing the threshold of the jet, he felt like he was surely going to lose the entire contents of his stomach. He swallowed hard against the feeling, determined not to make that particular kind of first impression upon the man he all but idolized.

He glanced to his right and saw the stewardess's seat and the heavy black cockpit door. Directly in front of him was a textured steel wall. They turned left, rounding the corner into the main cabin. Hatori glanced to his left, finding a small cubby with a phone and defibrillator on the floor. The shelf above held a DVD player and a panel with various switches on it, presumably to enable in-flight audio and video. He quickly scanned over the rest of the cabin, to get his bearings completely, before he became far too focused on something... or rather, someone, else. There were eight seats, in four rows. Each had a table that folded out from the wall beside of it and it appeared that the seats could all turn a complete three hundred and sixty degrees. Behind the main seating on the right hand side, there was a conference table and two bench seats, as well as a small couch-like bench on the left. And beyond that, he could see a full galley area and what he assumed was the lavatory.

The two men who had escorted him to the jet walked toward the back with his bags, leaving him standing just inside the seating area. He lowered his head slightly, staring at his shoes, feeling a light blush spread across his face. The word uncomfortable didn't even begin to describe how he felt at the moment, but at least the urge to vomit had passed.

Someone stepped close enough to him that he could see their shoes just inside his field of vision and he quickly looked up. His breath caught sharply in his throat and his heart began to beat an almost violent rhythm inside his chest. None other than Ishida Takara stood in front of him. Hatori blinked and then quickly regained his manners and bowed slightly to the singer, allowing his name to fall breathily from his lips. As he righted himself, he heard tinkling laughter from the left of him and he glanced over to find the guitarist, Aki, smirking at him.

"Ishida, I do believe that's the most erotic way I've ever heard someone say your name!" He burst out laughing again, pressing one ring-adorned hand to his mouth. His blue-grey eyes sparkled radiantly from beneath several stray locks of his shoulder length black hair.

Ishida gave his guitarist a disdainful look as he held his hand out to Hatori. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Hatori Nakamura." He turned his gaze back to Hatori as he spoke, a bright smile blossoming upon his lips.

Hatori took his hand, noting that they both wore black nail polish and a single ring on their right middle fingers. "You too," Hatori managed to choke out. Immediately he regretted speaking at all, knowing that he'd just sounded like a complete idiot. He continued to hold Ishida's hand, slowly shaking it. His skin was soft and warm, pleasant to the touch. He allowed his gaze to roam over the slightly older man, taking in everything about him as he did. From the black fishnet that covered his arms, to the off-black, zippered shirt, to the ever-present cross pendant hanging from his neck. Up to the blue/purple metal lip ring on the right bottom of deep cherry-red lips, over the almost unnoticeable diamond in his right nostril, across pale, high cheekbones, and up to brilliant blue eyes accented by the usual starburst contacts. Over finely plucked eyebrows, past heavily pierced ears, and up to what surprised Hatori the most... a startlingly blonde shock of hair, spiked out in every imaginable direction. Before he could stop himself, he found himself speaking yet again. "You bleached it..."

Ishida laughed softly. "Yeah, less than a week ago actually... thought I'd try out something new for a while." He gently pulled his hand from Hatori's slight grip and placed his hand on the slightly shorter teenager's back, ushering him completely into the cabin. He gestured at the now quiet guitarist. "That's Aki... he's an ass, as you've probably already noticed."

Hatori blushed as he held his hand out to the shorter man, "Nice to meet you."

Aki stared at his hand and then abruptly got up and pulled Hatori into his arms. "Fuck that... I've already laughed at you. That's far too impersonal now!" He grinned widely at him as he plopped back down into his seat.

Hatori's mouth hung slightly open as he stared at Aki, completely shocked.

Ishida shook his head and continued with his introductions. He gestured at a petite, youthful looking guy with light brown hair that hung just at the nape of his neck. "This is Sotatsu, our lovely bassist. I think you'll find he's much more, mild tempered than our guitarist."

Sotatsu pushed away from the wall and held out one slender hand to Hatori. "Pleasure."

Hatori took his hand gently and found that the bassists grip seemed to match the rest of him, gentle and slight. He was wearing a dark brown suit with a crème color shirt beneath it, brown dress shoes, but no tie. The top two buttons of his shirt were opened, revealing the start of his smooth, muscular chest. His eyes were almost black in color, with no noticeable differentiation between the pupil and iris.

Hatori released his hand and turned to the final person, awaiting Ishida's introduction.

Ishida patted the man on the shoulder and grinned. "This is our drummer, Haruhiko. He's nice, but I can't promise he won't bite."

Haruhiko held out his hand to Hatori. "Call me Haru... and no, I won't bite... yet." He smirked slightly.

His grip was firm and his skin felt quite like that of the bassists. His short, mostly black hair was streaked by the occasional deep red highlight and his contacts appeared to be picked out specifically to accent his hair, since they were a deep red in color as well. His state of dress would have shocked some, but managed to impress Hatori. The platform boots, black pinstripe pants, black patched shirt with the word "CUM-SLUT" adorning the front of it in bright white letters, and the red fishnet beneath it made for quiet the appearance.

Haru laughed nervously as he released Hatori's hand. "I hope this does not offend you." He gestured at his shirt.

Hatori grinned at him. "Not in the least. I like it."

The two bodyguards shuffled past them and took the front two seats in the cabin.

Ishida motioned at them. "Those are our personal bodyguards, Tetsu and Pete. They mostly mind their own business, so don't worry too much about them. If they bother you, let me know."

The pilot stuck his head out of the cockpit and cleared his throat. Ishida briefly exchanged words with him in Japanese and then he retreated back into the cockpit.

Ishida sat down in one of the chairs and began fishing around for his seatbelt. "We're about ready to take off. Everyone get a seat and buckle in."

They all found seats, Hatori ending up in the one across the small aisle from Ishida. He leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes for a moment, preparing for an entire month with all the people he'd just met. Slowly a smile crept onto his lips. So this was what happiness felt like...


	8. Chapter 8

Once they'd reached cruising altitude, Ishida had turned on the stereo system in the plane and everyone had started pulling the tables down from the walls and moving around to get comfortable.

Hatori had remained in the seat he'd taken, buckled in, nervously twisting his hands in his lap. This may be happiness, but it was most assuredly uncomfortable as well.

Ishida had been watching their guest from the fringes of his vision ever since they'd left the airport. Now that everyone else was settled in, he unbuckled his own seatbelt and walked across the cabin to where Hatori was sitting. He knelt down in front of his chair, placing each hand on the armrests on either side of Hatori. He lightly licked his lips and then met the teenager's eyes. "Don't be nervous... just act like you normally do. We won't wear a mask for you and you shouldn't put one on for us either." His tongue passed over his lips once more and he smiled slightly as he gave Hatori an almost sultry look. "Okay?"

Hatori nodded slightly, staring almost helplessly into the singer's blue eyes. His own tongue wetted his lips nervously and he found himself wishing for a fantasy to come true.

Ishida allowed his gaze to slide down the boy's body, away from the intensity of the gaze he was giving him and down to the buckle that still held him trapped in the seat. He smirked slightly as he reached out and slid his fingers between Hatori and the fastener, releasing it with his thumb and then pulling it away.

Almost instantly Hatori's body was a raging hormonal mess and his cheeks were alight with the fire of his embarrassment.

Ishida's gaze slid across his lap and he found himself slightly startled by what he found. 'Whoa... did I do that to him?!' He quickly looked away and back up at Hatori's face, which was amazingly red. '...Guess I must have.' He bit his lip slightly and then stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, let's play some cards and get to know one another a little better. Whatta' ya' say?"

Hatori nodded and quickly got up, placing his hand lightly into Ishida's. As they moved to the long bench-like chairs and stationary table in the back, he attempted to figure out who the song that was playing was by. "Hyde..." he blinked slowly and made an odd face as he slid into the booth across from Ishida. "Uh... is this song what I think it is?"

Ishida laughed softly. "Probably, what do you think it is?"

"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

"Yup, you're right."

Hatori giggled slightly, attempting to hide it behind his hand. He looked away for a minute, glancing around the cabin at the others.

Aki and Haruhiko were whispering to one another and Sotatsu was sitting cross-legged in his chair, reading a manga.

Hatori leaned over slightly to get a better look at the cover. It was in Japanese, but was obviously a volume of Descendants of Darkness. He leaned over a little more to find the volume number and let out a small huff when he found it. 'Volume 19, no fair!' He leaned back up and Ishida handed him five cards.

"Poker for fun?"

Hatori nodded slightly. "Sure."

For the next four hours, they played every card game they could think of, making idle conversation as they did so. Occasionally, another member of the band would say something or join in for a round, but mostly it was just Ishida and Hatori.

About half way through the fifth hour Hatori got up and stretched. His back and neck popped loud enough to draw the attention of Sotatsu and Ishida. Both gave him a slightly worried look.

Ishida slid out of his seat and came around behind Hatori. He gently moved Hatori's hair over his left shoulder and began to massage his back.

Hatori’s eyelids slowly closed as the singer's strong fingers worked miracles on his sore muscles. A soft moan slipped past Hatori’s lips as he leaned back ever so slightly into each touch.

Sotatsu watched the two of them, wondering if either of them had any idea just how erotic of a display they were inadvertently putting on. He shifted slightly, pulling at the leg of his suit pants to give himself a little more room.

 

Hatori slowly licked his lips as Ishida's hands moved to his lower back. His breath came in shallow, almost breathless, gasps as he headed steadily toward complete bliss.

Ishida wasn't completely un-aware of the effect he was having on Hatori. In fact, he was intrigued by it. No one had ever reacted to his back massages like this before and to have what he considered to be an attractive, eighteen year old boy essentially swooning under his touch, was just too much to ignore.

In complete reality, he had no clue of just how much he was affecting the blonde-haired beauty before him. His bassist, on the other hand, knew exactly the affect he was having on him. From where he sat, the view was nothing if not mind-numbingly delicious.

Hatori's hand trailed down his chest to the edge of his pants. Slowly he slid his pinkie and ring finger down, just barely brushing the tip of his arousal. That small touch seemed to jar his mind back into reality. He gasped softly, turning his head slightly to the side, his cheeks flushed. His heart thudded in his chest and he swallowed hard. 'Shit... what do I do? I don't want him to stop, but if he doesn't... ugg...' He licked his lips once more and then softly whispered Ishida's name to draw his attention. "Ishida?"

"Hmm?"

"I... umm," he closed his eyes again for a moment. "You know I'm..." 'Ahhh, I can't do this, fuck.' "...I'm bisexual."

Ishida laughed softly, his hands continuing to work Hatori's muscles. "I know now. Why?"

Hatori stood there, speechless for a minute, unable to come up with a decent reply. Finally he settled on a simple shrug. "I dunno."

"You thought I'd back off in one hell of a hurry when you said that, didn't you?"

Hatori bowed his head slightly in shame. "Mmm..."

Ishida worked the last kink out of Hatori's back before sliding his arms around his waist, hugging him lightly from behind. He rested his chin on Hatori's shoulder, swaying slightly to the music. "Want to know something?"

"Sure..."

"I've never officially said it, but..." he lowered his voice considerably and leaned closer to Hatori's ear, "I am too."

Hatori let out a soft whimper as he lightly slid his fingers over Ishida's.

The vocalist smiled and then flicked his tongue out, running it over Hatori's earring and then sucking it gently into his mouth, before letting it go. "And if you haven't noticed, I'm just a little tiny bit attracted to you."

Hatori's knees almost gave out as Ishida's tongue inflicted its damage on his senses. "J-just a bit?"

"Mmm... caught me... a lot." He linked one hand with Hatori's and slowly moved the other over his abdomen. "If you weren't already eighteen, I'd be in a world of pain, you know."

Hatori shivered, the assault on his senses a completely new feeling. Vaguely, he wondered if he'd fallen asleep playing cards and was simply having the best damn dream ever or if this was really happening. Then he realized it didn't really matter, either way it was hot as hell and either way, he hoped it would never end. He leaned back against Ishida slightly, his hand running over the vocalist's almost frantically. His hips arched ever so slightly and he let out a soft sound of wanton pleasure.

Ishida let his gaze drift down over Hatori's body, stopping when he reached the point of his interest. As Hatori arched his hips slightly, what he suspected became obvious and he felt himself beginning to respond as well.

'Am I out of my mind? I shouldn't be doing this, much less anything else with a fan.' For the smallest instant, he thought of stopping it all, right then and there. The thought was wiped from his mind when Hatori's hand covered his own and gently tugged it downward.

He leaned in and began to kiss and lick his way along Hatori's neck and collarbone as he allowed him to guide his hand wherever he wanted it to go. Their fingers brushed lightly over the top of Hatori's sensitive flesh and Ishida could barely contain his own moan, just barely catching it. "I did this?"

Hatori nodded slightly. "S-second time..."

"Do you mind it?" He noticed Sotatsu watching them and gave him a warning look, before abruptly pulling Hatori with him to the back of the cabin. He sat down on the large open bench seat and pulled the teenager down onto his lap.

Hatori ended up straddling Ishida's lap and staring at him, a half confused look on his face.

Ishida pursed his lips for a moment and then licked them slightly. "We were being watched... it's a little more private here."

Hatori nodded slightly and then looked away, his cheeks once more on fire.

"I know earlier you said you'd never dated anyone... I'm going to guess that included doing anything with anyone, ne?"

Hatori continued staring at the wall, feeling like an incapable retard. Then it hit him... if it had been a dream, he wouldn't haven't screwed anything up and they'd be making out, not sitting here talking. This was reality... and he'd just been asked by the person he'd had a crush on for years, basically if he was a virgin or not. There was no lying in reality, no pretending... just the glaring truth, bad as it may be.

He sighed softly and started to remove himself from Ishida's lap. Gentle hands on his hips stopped him and he slowly met Ishida's eyes, studying him for a moment. "It's not a dream... is it?"

Ishida reached up and brushed a few stray strands of blonde hair from out of Hatori's eyes. "Not a dream."

Hatori gave him a wry smile before pushing himself out of Ishida's lap, despite the hands on his hips that told him to stay. Once standing, he leaned against the wall, facing away from Ishida and composed himself. He glanced over his shoulder to find Ishida was sitting in the same place, watching him. He sighed and then came and sat down beside of him. He shook his head. "I'm not what you're looking for... I wouldn't even know where to start." He stared at the floor between his feet, biting his lip ever so slightly. "What you just did... what we just did... that's the most I've ever done."

Ishida gave him a slightly surprised look, but then nodded. "Explains why you were so sensitive to what should have been an innocent touch then..."

Hatori cringed slightly and nodded. "Sorry..."

Ishida reached over and took his hand and gently squeezed it. "No... It’s fine. I was very much liking watching your reactions." He ran his thumb in slow circles over Hatori's hand as he spoke. "I just hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or, worse, make you think I do this with every fan that I meet." He sighed as he glanced over at Hatori. "I really don't. I'm not sure what it is about you, but you just kind of... clicked for me. You know?"

Hatori blushed slightly, but held Ishida's gaze steady, determined not to look away this time. "You're... you're really attracted to me... for real?"

Ishida nodded slightly. "Hai..."

Hatori bit his lip, deliberating what he should say now that that was perfectly clear. After a minute, he just opened his mouth, and let whatever was going to, slip out. "Kinda obvious that I'm attracted to you, no doubt... I just... I guess I don't know what I'm supposed to do... like, what's allowed and what's not, what will fuck it all up and what won't." He glanced back up at Ishida, an imploring look in his hazel-green eyes.

"I'd say do what you wish, and if it... bothers me, I'll just let you know." He shrugged. "But, I think the bigger issue is the fact that we barely know each other and have to spend the next month in close quarters to one another. On one hand, we don't want sexual tension driving us crazy, but on the other, I don't want to push you into anything you wouldn't have otherwise done." He shook his head. "I won't make that mistake. It's already thin ice I'm walking on here... behaving like this after what... six hours?"

Hatori held up his hand and shook his head. "No... if I said I didn't want what happened, I'd be the biggest liar in the world. You're not pushing me into anything and I'm fully capable of saying no if I don't want something. I'm eighteen and old enough to make that particular decision myself, I do believe. I've had a crush on you since I was sixteen years old; from the first time I ever heard your voice. Granted, who doesn't have a crush on a celebrity, but then again... how many people actually get the chance to do something about that crush?" He stopped and stared at the floor, his cheeks flushed and his breathing slightly ragged from nervousness.

"Well, in that case... I say we've had our um... adventure for today and for now, why don't we both just play it like it is? We're mutually attracted to one another. We both know the other is open to whatever comes their way. So, if we end up in a situation like that again, we'll just stop when someone gets uncomfortable with it."

Hatori nodded. He tried to hide his smile, but failed miserably.

Ishida smiled as well and then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Hatori's cheek. "I'll be working on finding a time and place to steal that first kiss from you." He pulled back, giving him a look that was to die for as he sauntered over to Sotatsu to have a little talk with him about spying on his band-mates.

Black Cherry by Buck-Tick played in the background, creating the perfect atmosphere for the moment and leaving Hatori as carefree as he had been when he'd gotten up from the table. He stretched out his legs and smiled to himself as his eyelids fluttered closed.


	9. Chapter 9

The plane bounced around slightly as the pilot battled against quite the amount of turbulence. The fasten seatbelts sign flashed on, accompanied by a soft bell tone.

Ishida slowly opened his eyes and stretched out his legs as he yawned. He stared up at the lighted red sign and then sighed softly as he heaved himself up to make sure everyone else was sleeping somewhere where there was a seatbelt and that they all had one on.

Sotatsu was still sitting in the same chair, still buckled in, reading a magazine with his penlight. Haru was asleep; his head resting on Aki's shoulder and both were securely fastened into their chairs. Pete and Tetsu were both buckled in and sound asleep in the two front chairs. That left Hatori, who was nowhere in sight.

Ishida ran one hand through his bleach blonde hair as he shuffled back toward the lavatory, swaying slightly as the plane continued to bounce around in the turbulence. He knocked softly on the closed door. When he received no response, he knocked again, slightly louder and quietly called out Hatori's name. Still there was no answer from within. Concern etched his features as he slowly opened the door and peered inside.

His eyes widened slightly and he rushed the rest of the way inside when he spotted Hatori. The long haired blonde teenager sat slumped against the wall beside the toilet, either asleep or passed out. Ishida knelt down beside of him and reached out and gently shook his shoulder. "Hatori?"

Hatori opened his eyes and blinked a few times, then grunted softly as he moved around a bit. "Ugg... where am-," his eyes widened and he clamped a hand over his mouth and quickly turned away from Ishida. 'Shit, why'd he have to be the one to come looking for me when I'm like this?'

Ishida's grip tightened ever so slightly on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Hatori shook his head, but didn't reply. He turned slightly and Ishida caught his gaze.

"Please tell me. Are you ill?" Ishida loosened his grip on Hatori's shoulder and gently began to caress it instead.

Hatori shivered slightly as heat radiated through his body from Ishida's touch. Then he looked away again and nodded slightly.

"Any idea why?"

Hatori shrugged and finally spoke, his face turned purposely away from Ishida. "Just woke up and felt really sick."

"How long ago?"

Hatori shrugged again. "No idea... an hour or so, I guess."

Ishida leaned in and pulled him into a light hug. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well."

Hatori didn't hug Ishida back, still too afraid he reeked of vomit or had missed the toilet one of the many times he'd thrown up and didn't want to cover his idol in it. Truly, all he really wanted to do was snuggle into the vocalist's arms and let him comfort him. But he refrained from giving in to his urges and stayed still.

A few seconds later, Ishida pulled back and then stood up and held out his hand. "The fasten seatbelts sign came on a few minutes ago and I was making sure everyone was buckled in. We'd better go back out there and sit down."

Hatori stared down at his hands and wrinkled his nose before attempting to push himself up from the floor without Ishida's help.

Ishida let his hand fall to his side as he watched; feeling slightly confused at the boy's seeming rejection of him and his help.

Hatori made his way to the sink and promptly washed his hands with the antibacterial soap from the wall dispenser. Then he rinsed out his mouth and washed his hands again, before turning off the faucet.

Ishida held out a towel and Hatori gratefully accepted it, bowing slightly in thanks.

Ishida smiled slightly and decided to try again. As Hatori set the towel down on the counter, he held out his hand. "Coming?" he murmured softly.

Hatori nodded as he slid his hand into Ishida's offered one, relishing every bit of the contact.

Ishida chuckled softly and Hatori gave him a questioning look. "You wouldn't take my hand before because you were afraid you were dirty, yes?"

Hatori blushed slightly and then nodded.

Ishida pulled him close to his side as they made their way back to the main cabin. "So thoughtful." He grinned as he let go of him and slid into his own chair. He gestured at the seat beside of him. "Sit with me for the rest of the flight. It shouldn't be too long."

Hatori sat down and buckled his seatbelt.

Ishida did the same and then turned slightly to look directly at Hatori. "So, airsick maybe?"

Hatori looked slightly startled, but quickly regained his composure. "Mmm... maybe. I've never flown before."

Ishida gave him a surprised look. "Never?"

Hatori shook his head. "Nope."

Ishida grinned. "This whole thing is just going to be a whole bunch of firsts for you then, isn't it?"

Hatori ducked his head, his cheeks turning red. 'If only you knew just how many firsts I hope I have on this trip...' The flush spread down his neck and under the collar of his shirt.

Ishida looked away, smiling to himself as he gazed out into the inky blackness outside the plane window. The occasional light patch drifted past the double-paned glass and he allowed himself to become almost mesmerized by it. He only snapped back to reality when Hatori groaned softly in the seat next to him. He quickly looked over at his guest, a worried look in his eyes. "You okay?"

Hatori nodded. "I think I know what caused me to be sick now..." Ishida gave him a questioning look and he continued. "Sleeping or even closing my eyes."

Ishida gave him a sympathetic look. "I can't do roller coasters if that makes you feel any better."

Hatori gave him a weak smile. "Makes me feel a little less stupid."

Ishida smiled. "Well good, because it's not stupid. I think everyone's a little airsick their first time flying. Nothing to be embarrassed about or anything." He shrugged slightly. "It doesn't make me feel any different toward you." He lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "I still think you're attractive."

Hatori stared at him like he'd lost his mind for a moment before realizing he was the one who'd lost it. He should feel like he was floating on cloud nine from that comment, not be staring at his biggest crush like he'd gone mental. Slowly he forced himself to smile and then look away once more.

Ishida reached over and took Hatori's hand in his own. He gently squeezed it and smiled when Hatori squeezed his in return.

Hatori couldn't help but think to himself as he played his thumb over Ishida's strong fingers. 'If things continue like this, the rest of the flight is going to be a breeze.'


	10. Chapter 10

Ishida flopped down onto the bed closest to the door and simply lay there staring at the ceiling for a few moments before noticing that Hatori was still standing nervously by their luggage. He slowly sat up, pulled his knees up to his chest, and gestured to the bed closest to the window. "You're all nervous again... just like I told you not to be. It's not like I'm going to attack you if you sit down you know!" He laughed softly as Hatori's eyes widened and he practically ran to the bed and then sat primly on the edge of it, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. 'It's so easy to make him blush... poor guy, I must be torturing him by doing that every ten minutes.' He choked back laughter as it bubbled up inside of him and managed to keep a relatively straight face in the process.

Hatori sat on the edge of the bed, his heart thudding heavily in his chest, thinking back on the trip from the airport that'd made him slightly jumpy.

The ride to their hotel had been relatively uneventful, as had the process of leaving the airport. The only thing that hadn't been completely 'normal' was one small event that had managed to shock the blonde teenager into stunned, gaping silence. He'd turned to say something to Aki, who had been pestering him for virtually the entire extent of the ride to the hotel and had found him entangled in Haruhiko's arms, caught in the midst of a deep, passionate kiss. As he'd watched them, unable to look away, Ishida had managed to switch seats with Sotatsu and he'd whispered something into Hatori's ear. Hatori had yelped and then promptly slid off his seat, into the floor of the limo. The end result had left all of them laughing so hard that their sides ached until they'd arrived at the hotel and had had to compose themselves in order to check in.

Ishida watched Hatori for a few minutes before breaking the silence. "So... does it bother you that we're in the same room? We could always get you a bed in one of the other's rooms or get you your own room... they all have their own rooms."

Hatori stared at Ishida as though he'd lost his mind. "Uh... bother me? No... should it?"

Ishida shook his head. "No. I just thought I'd give you the option to room with someone else or alone if you wanted to." He shrugged slightly and looked away, his gaze randomly falling upon various objects throughout the room. "Though, I have to say, I'd miss the company if you left."

Hatori's eyes lit up with excitement and a smile touched his lips. "Really?"

Ishida turned back to him and smiled. "Of course." He ran one hand through his short blonde hair as he continued to grin at his newly found object of affection. "You've been great company so far and it's been a long time since I've shared a room with anyone."

Hatori arched an eyebrow at him as his tongue passed over his lips. "Been a while for something else too?" Almost immediately he blushed and looked away. 'Ahh, did I really just ask that?! Where in the hell did my manners go?'

Ishida laughed softly, but quickly sobered up. He sighed softly as he moved so that his legs dangled over the edge of the bed. "Yeah... it's been a while for that too... admittedly." He slid one arm behind himself and braced himself on his hand as he leaned back. His other hand restlessly ran though his hair. 'How long has it been?' He thought for a moment, trying to recapture the memory of the last time he'd been with someone. 'Shit... three years. What in the hell have I been thinking? I'm coming on to this poor kid as if I do this every single day, with every person that comes my way. He must think I'm some kind of sex fiend.' His lips formed a thin line as he reflected internally on his behavior since he'd met Hatori and just how much it differed from his normal everyday behavior. He sighed as he dropped his other hand to the bed, finally leaving his hair at peace. "Maybe it's been too long..."

Hatori looked up, giving the vocalist an odd look. "What has?"

"Mmm... nothing. I shouldn't be making excuses for my behavior anyway. I apologize for being so forward with all of this, I really shouldn't be. Just... don't judge me based only on today's actions... please?" His stark blue eyes met Hatori's with a pleading look.

Hatori swallowed hard, wondering when he'd pushed the wrong button and somehow ended up in a world where Ishida was apologizing for his earlier actions, rather than trying to swipe that promised first kiss. "Huh ...why? It's not like you did anything wrong."

Ishida studied him for a moment. "You really didn't mind any of that? Even though I was acting like... well... like I haven't had any for a long-ass time?"

Hatori couldn't help but laugh. "Mind? If I minded any of that, I'd have to have completely lost my sanity. The only thing I minded at all was the fact that I was airsick." He wrinkled his nose. "Speaking of which... perhaps I should go shower before I funk up the whole place."

Ishida let out a half laugh. "You don't stink, but you sure seem to think you do!"

Hatori winced. "That's because I do stink. You're just not close enough to tell." He got up and headed for the bathroom. "I'll be quick."

Ishida watched him until he pushed the door shut behind him and then he kicked off his own shoes and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as the shower turned on in the other room.

A few minutes later he started hearing a consistent thumping on the wall behind his bed and he smirked, knowing that Aki's room was right beside of his and Hatori's. 'Sometimes I envy those two. But, hey... at least I get to listen... like some pervert!' He laughed softly at himself, before straining to hear anything else he could through the wall. The thumping stopped rather quickly and was replaced by silence, much to his displeasure. 'Damn Haru... he's too fast.' He sighed as he sat back up and stared into the mirror absently. 'Then again... it's been awhile since I've heard a peep from either of them... maybe they were on break or something these past few months. ...What the hell do I care?' He glared into the mirror. 'I really have turned into a total pervert if I'm counting how long it's been since I've heard them getting it on. That's just sad... really fucking sad, Ishida.' He shook his head and got up, busying himself with rearranging their luggage.

A few minutes later, Hatori stuck his head out of the bathroom. "Umm.... Ishida?"

Ishida looked up and then leaned one hip against the desk beside of him and grinned at Hatori. "Forgot something, didn't you?"

Hatori swallowed nervously. "Uh... yeah, I kinda... forgot to bring in a change of clothes."

"I'd tell you to just come out like that and stop worrying about it, but I think I'd have a hard time keeping my hands to myself if you did." He unzipped Hatori's luggage and plucked out a pair of pants, a t-shirt, and underwear. "So... I think maybe this would be best for... your innocence." He gave Hatori a lopsided grin as he stopped just outside the bathroom door and held out the items.

Hatori reached out and took the clothes, mumbling his thanks before abruptly closing the door and starting to yank the clothing on. As he zipped his pants, he stared down at the slight bulge in the fabric of his underpants and sighed. 'How the hell am I going to make it an entire month without doing anything if he keeps making me hard?' He arched his hips slightly and bit his lip as he glanced over at the door. There was no lock and he certainly wasn't going to get caught pleasuring himself. He sighed and zipped his pants, attempting to arrange himself so that it wasn't so obvious that he was aroused... yet again. He pulled the bathroom door open, only to find Ishida leaning against the sink, right next to the door. Immediately his cheeks reddened and he looked away, embarrassed by the thought that if he'd done what he wanted, Ishida probably could have heard him. He gestured slightly toward the rest of the room. "Umm... do you think... maybe...?"

Ishida mumbled something mostly incoherent before leaning down and catching Hatori's lips with his own. He gently kissed him, pulling him close with one arm and twining his free hand into Hatori's long blonde hair.

Hatori's eyelids fluttered closed as he allowed himself to be taken in by the vocalist's soft lips and gentle touch. Without even thinking about it, he slid his arms around Ishida's waist, allowing one hand to slip partway up his back. He moaned softly when Ishida's tongue slid seductively across his bottom lip, begging entrance. He parted his lips and slid his own tongue out to entwine with Ishida's.

Ishida fought to keep himself in control of all of his actions from the instant Hatori's tongue met his own. A thrill ran down his spine as he ravaged the boy's mouth. It was beyond him how he was still managing to be gentle and passionate when all he really wanted to do was press him up against the wall and show him just how much he wanted him. Hatori's hips arched slightly against him and he could feel the slightly shorter blonde's arousal pressing against him. He shivered slightly, sliding one hand down to the small of Hatori's back as he pressed back against him.

Desire ran through Hatori, pumping like liquid fire through every vein in his body; his desire ignited by the fact that he could feel the rock hard evidence that Ishida was enjoying this just as much as he was, pressing urgently against him. He pressed closer, wanting to feel everything he could, wanting to memorize the feel of Ishida pressed against him like this, to engrave it into the most private recesses of his mind and never ever forget it.

Ishida let out a soft moan as he drew back from the kiss, gently ending it. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, just feeling Hatori against him before he slowly let him go. "We should get some rest," he murmured softly into Hatori's hair before slipping completely away and slowly heading back toward his bed.

Hatori gripped the doorframe with his left hand, attempting to re-orient himself with what the ground was and how to use it properly. After a few moments, he let go and slowly followed Ishida back into the bedroom. He turned back the covers to his bed and then slipped beneath them. He turned to look at Ishida, who was smiling softly at him. His voice was low and still tainted by lust as he spoke. "Thank you... I'll never forget my first kiss... not ever."

Ishida's smile grew wider and he laughed softly. "Then I doubt you'll forget the second or the third or... well, any of them, so long as I'm around."

Hatori blushed, but managed to grin back at him. "I won't forget anything that happens with you."

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, slowly letting the darkness and the drowsy remnants of their kiss lull them into a pleasant, undisturbed sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Hatori rolled over in the hotel bed and grunted softly. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Slowly the haze of sleep began to lift from his mind and he began to realize what had woken him up. He turned his head toward Ishida's bed and a smile gently curved his lips as he watched the vocalist.

Ishida sat on the edge of his bed, a beautiful black guitar in his lap. He was humming softly as he lightly strummed out a few chords and then scribbled them down on a paper next to him. He was already dressed for the day, even his makeup was already in place.

Hatori couldn't help but stare at Ishida. He pulled the sheets up around him so that only his head was visible and just lay there, watching the beauty that was the blonde-haired singer of 落日の上昇.

He lay there for over twenty minutes before Ishida looked up and found Hatori's hazel-green eyes watching him. Ishida smiled as he set his guitar aside and stretched. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

Hatori smiled and blushed slightly as he pulled the sheets even closer. "It's okay, I like watching you..." he trailed off for a moment and then blushed even more before attempting to rectify his verbal blunder, "I uh... I mean... ah hell." He yanked the covers over his head and groaned. His muffled voice came from under the sheets. "That just came out wrong."

Ishida laughed as he stood up and came to sit on the edge of Hatori's bed. He reached down and yanked the covers back, revealing Hatori's head and upper torso to his gaze. He stared down at him for a moment, taking in just how very shirtless Hatori currently was. A smirk played across his lips as he met the teenager's brilliant eyes with his own. "I know what you meant. But... the other way could be fun too... if you ever catch me, that is." In reply to the shocked look Hatori gave him, he leaned down and captured Hatori's lips with his own in a brief, but searing, kiss. He pulled back as he ran one hand lightly over the boy's chest, catching one of his nipples between his thumb and forefinger, gently pinching it. He licked his lips and gave Hatori his best sultry look. "You should consider sleeping completely naked." He released his nipple and stood up, heading for the dresser and the bottle of water he'd left sitting there. As he unscrewed the cap on the water, he added one last comment, just for the hell of it. "After all... you never know just what I'd do if I found you with nothing but the sheets on." He took a large sip of his water as he watched Hatori's reaction in the mirror.

Hatori's jaw dropped at the last comment and then his face proceeded to turn a very bright shade of red as he realized the full implications of the comment. He yanked the covers up again and sat there staring at Ishida in the mirror. "Teasing me isn't very nice, you know. Now I can't even get out of bed." His blush deepened even more, not that he had even thought it was possible at that point.

Ishida put the water down and screwed the cap back on before grabbing the outfit Hatori had laid out the night before from the top of his suitcase and sauntering over to Hatori's bed with it. "Hmm... perhaps I will have to dress you then?" He grinned down at Hatori, who had fallen back against the bed again when Ishida had approached.

Hatori swallowed hard and managed a grin that didn't match the stirring of feelings deep in the pit of his stomach. "Three days in this hotel and already you're trying to get in my pants, Ishida?"

The vocalist grinned down at him and then yanked the covers from his hands, completely baring the lean blonde to his view. He dropped the clothes on the bed and then abruptly straddled Hatori's waist, not even caring that he was already wearing his platform boots and that they were now on the bed. He grabbed Hatori's shirt from beside him and prepared to put it on him, bunching the material up. He ran one ring clad hand up Hatori's chest as he leaned down and licked his collarbone. "Mmm... you have no idea just how much I'm trying to get in your pants... question is... do you want in mine bad enough to do anything about it yourself." He chuckled softly as he yanked the shirt over Hatori's head.

Hatori stared up at him as he struggled to get his arms into the sleeves of the shirt and pull it down. He stared hard into the bright blue eyes of the man above him for a moment and then pulled his shirt down even further, attempting to get it all the way down to where it belonged, despite that being partially beneath Ishida, who was still straddling his waist. His fingers brushed first across Ishida's inner thigh and then lightly across the bulge of Ishida's pants. His own breath caught in his throat at what he was doing and he moaned softly.

Ishida watched Hatori's actions, completely fascinated by the stubborn look reflected deep in his eyes. He got so lost in the teens eyes that he didn't pay any mind at all to just where Hatori's hands were going. At the light touch of Hatori's hand on his thigh, he gasped softly and when his fingers found something far more intimate, he couldn't help the moan that left his lips. Hatori started to pull his hand away, but Ishida's hand covered his own and pressed it back against him. His own voice came out sounding breathless as he spoke. "Do what you want to do." He gently squeezed Hatori's hand around his already swelling flesh before letting go and dropping his hand to rest on his upper thigh.

Hatori swallowed hard. Sure, he wanted Ishida... wanted him bad, but still... to do anything he wanted? He kept his hand pressed against Ishida, unable to even think of removing it, much less want to. His own body had long since responded to exactly where he was touching Ishida.

As the vocalist shifted ever so slightly, he felt Hatori's erection press insistently against him. He let out a low moan of approval as he arched against Hatori's hand. "Please..."

Hatori's eyes darkened a shade with a desire that he wasn’t sure if he could control. His fingers began to take orders from another part of his body and he began to unbutton and unzip Ishida's tight, black pinstripe pants. He slid one hand inside, finding the soft black silk of Ishida's underwear beneath his fingers and beneath that, the rigid proof of his desire. He moaned softly as he closed his fingers over the fabric and the vocalist's hardened length. He slowly began to jerk him off though his boxers as he stared up at Ishida's face, watching the display of pleasure that appeared there. His strokes became more confident and his grasp more sure as he watched Ishida's reaction. Each moan from the vocalist gave him another shove toward knowing he was doing something right and every little thrust of his hips begged him to keep doing it. His own length throbbed with a neglected desire, but he couldn't have cared less right then.

Ishida managed to whimper out a strangled version of Hatori's name as his now shaking hand closed over the younger blonde's hand. "H-ahhhh-tori... ahh... wait." His breath came in short gasps and his entire being pulsed with the desire to be fulfilled. He forced himself to calm down just a little before his hand slid up to the waistband of his boxers and he pulled them down, revealing himself completely.

Hatori gasped softly as he stared at Ishida. He couldn't help but stare, it was the first time he'd ever seen anyone but himself and while Ishida wasn't huge, he definitely wasn't small. Slowly he slid his hand up and grasped Ishida's exposed flesh. It was even warmer without his boxers in the way and it felt like a dream, so smooth and perfect beneath his fingers. He began to pump his hand along Ishida's length once more, earning a deep guttural moan of pleasure from the vocalist.

Ishida grasped the hem of Hatori's shirt and shoved it back up his torso as he leaned down over him, panting softly. His hips thrust almost desperately against Hatori's hand, sliding his wanton flesh in and out of the boy's grip even faster. His fingers toyed with Hatori's nipple, rolling and pinching it as he neared his peak. His breath whispered past Hatori's ear as he murmured a barely audible request. "Make me cum..."

Hatori quickened his pace, slightly tightening his grip on Ishida's rock-hard length as he stroked him toward completion.

Ishida tensed above him for a moment and then moaned as he found his release. His body quivered as his cum spurted out over Hatori's hand and abdomen. Once he caught his breath, he leaned down and gently kissed Hatori on the lips.

Hatori's other hand slid over Ishida's ass and firmly grasped it as he kissed him back.

Ishida slowly pulled back from the kiss before sliding down the length of Hatori's body. He leaned down began to lick the essence of his desire from the abdomen of his lover. His hand found the rigid length of Hatori's own desire and he squeezed it firmly through the fabric of his boxers. As he licked the last drops of his cum from the slender blonde's body, he glanced up and found Hatori licking his hand clean. He paused, simply watching him, unable to remove his eyes from the erotic scene Hatori was creating. How on earth anyone could look so incredibly hot while licking someone else's cum from their hand was beyond Ishida, but Hatori managed it without so much as a second thought.

Their eyes met and Hatori slowly licked the last little bit from his index finger as his face steadily grew warmer with the combined heat of desire and embarrassment. He looked away, for a moment completely forgetting everything else and reverting to his innocent, completely embarrassed self.

Moments later, Ishida pulled him back into the hazy fog of desire as he pulled Hatori’s boxers down and grasped his now fully naked length in the palm of his hand. He moaned as the vocalist began to slide his hand over his hardened length, getting steadily faster with each passing second. Soon Hatori's hips were rising to meet each downward plunge of Ishida's hand, adding to the already incredible friction. His breath came in harsh gasps and his voice seemed to find a will of its own as he began to cry out with each movement. His fingers fisted in the bed sheets at his sides and his head thrashed from side to side as he moaned in pleasure. He couldn't think of anything except the feeling of Ishida's hand upon his heated flesh. Red hot tendrils of pleasure wound their way throughout his entire body, burning fiery hot within him. His thrusts became almost frantic as he climbed ever closer to what was sure to be an earth shattering orgasm. His cries of passion reduced to mews of pure pleasure as his body began to tremble. He arched from the bed, almost every single muscle in his body quivering. In the next instant, everything came crashing down around him and he cried out Ishida's name. The warmth of his seed flowed over Ishida's fingers as he collapsed back against the bed, panting heavily.

Ishida waited for a moment and then brought his hand up and slowly began to lick his fingers clean.

Hatori watched him from beneath heavy eyelids as he regained his breath. His own tongue darted out to wet his lips and before he knew it, Ishida's mouth covered his own and his tongue thrust inside. The taste of his own cum lingered on Ishida's lips and Hatori's tongue almost greedily explored the vocalist's mouth, seeking as much of the familiar taste as possible.

A sharp knock at the door sent them both scrambling for their clothes.

Ishida glanced at the clock and his eyes widened. "Ah, shit. Hurry or we'll be late for the photo shoot for Cure magazine." He quickly yanked his clothes back into place, buttoning and zipping his pants once more and quickly checking his makeup and hair in the mirror. He turned around and found Hatori to be fully clothed and currently yanking his boots on. He grinned at him gave him a wink as the teen straightened up. "You're fast!"

Hatori stuck out his tongue at the double meaning of the comment. "Yeah, well... you weren't exactly slow, you know."

Ishida laughed. "I told you it'd been a while!" With that, he sauntered over to the door and yanked it open, revealing two very irritated looking bodyguards.

The four of them left the room and headed out to the limo waiting to take them to the photo shoot.


	12. Chapter 12

Hatori examined the lobby of the building, his eyes wide with admiration. The place was filled with posh, expensive furniture and the walls were plastered with huge, signed, celebrity photographs. He felt as though he was out of place and completely under-dressed for the occasion. He turned his hazel-green eyes to the black laminate flooring and shoved his fishnet encased hands into the pockets of his baggy, black and lime green pants. Blonde hair cascaded over the shoulders of his tight black 'I dig guys in skirts' t-shirt as he trudged after the other band members.

So absorbed in his own world was he that he failed to notice the fact that the entire band had scooted over to one side of the hallway in order to allow other people to pass by. A pair of boot clad feet made their way into his field of vision and a soft chuckle met his ears. He came to a sudden stop and raised his head, only to find himself looking into a pair of very amused grey eyes. He blinked and took a step backward, an apology forming on his lips as he did so. "Uh... I'm sorry, I wasn't-"

The person in front of him chucked and then cut him off mid-sentence. "Paying attention to where you were going? So I could tell." The mask-clad male gestured behind Hatori. "And if you don't watch it, you're going to run into that planter."

Hatori stopped and quickly looked behind him. His shoulders slumped and he groaned. "Thank you..." He glanced around at the others who were currently staring at him and the person that he was talking to. He re-focused on the man in front of him and tilted his head slightly to the left. "Hey... I know you..."

Grey eyes sparkled above the dainty white linen that covered the nose and mouth of the man in front of him. "I'll give you five thousand yen and I'll even sign it if you can tell me my name and where you know me from."

The blithe, almost offhand comment earned a smattering of laughter from Ishida, Aki, and Sotatsu.

Haruhiko leaned against the wall and smirked at Hatori. "I'll throw in another two thousand if you can guess his age as well."

One finely sculpted eyebrow rose ever so slightly in response to Haru's comment. He folded his arms neatly across his chest and firmly planted his gaze back on Hatori. "Well?"

Hatori swallowed hard and then took a deep breath. Staring straight into the man's eyes, he gave his answer. "You are Reita, the bassist from Gazette, now known as The Gazette, and unless I'm sadly mistaken you are twenty two years old, or at least that's the age that the public has been given." He smirked ever so slightly as confidence shown brightly in his eyes.

The man tugged down his face mask to reveal the rest of his face. His smile was absolutely stunning and in that instant, Hatori couldn't find a single solitary reason why the man wore that mask all the time. "You would be correct." He fished out the promised amount of yen, along with a pen and set about signing it. "And your name is...?" Grey eyes met Hatori's hazel-green ones again.

"Uh... Hatori."

Reita smiled again. "Nice name." He finished scribbling on the bill and then held it out to Hatori. "Well, here you go. It was nice to... almost run into you!" He grinned this time before tugging his mask back into place.

Hatori reached out and took the bill. Holding it gingerly between two fingers and grinning like an idiot, he thanked Reita. "Thank you very much. I'm sorry I almost ran you over."

Reita patted him on the shoulder as he moved past him down the hallway. Once at the elevators, he paused and looked back over his shoulder. "Oh... your friend there owes you some money too, since you correctly guessed my age." He gave a short wave of his hand and disappeared into the elevator.

Hatori turned back to Haruhiko and grinned. "You gonna sign it too?"

Haru laughed and fished out his wallet as they continued down the hallway toward the photo rooms. He held a few bills out to Hatori as he stuffed his wallet back into his pocket. "I'll sign something else for you later, how's that sound?"

Hatori grinned as he retrieved the money from Haru. "Sounds just fine to me. By the way... you look very nice in all white."

Haru laughed softly. "Don't let Aki hear you or he'll think you're trying to steal me away!"

Hatori let out a sound rather like a squeak and shook his head. "I wouldn't!'

Aki paused at the door to the photo room and turned his beautiful blue-grey eyes on Hatori. "I know you wouldn't, you're far too hung up on our lovely vocalist for that!"

Hatori's eyes widened and he shot a worried glance at Ishida. Ishida just grinned sheepishly and motioned for Hatori to come over to him.

Aki and Sotatsu disappeared into the first room and Haru followed Ishida and Hatori into the second.

Once inside, Hatori was quickly ushered off to the side and Haruhiko and Ishida were instructed on where to stand and how to pose. The photographers wasted absolutely no time whatsoever.

About twenty minutes into the shoot, the vocalist and drummer were instructed to pose in any way that they wished. Almost immediately Haru pulled Ishida against him, wrapping his arms around the vocalist's slim waist, his hand slipping dangerously close to forbidden territory.

Ishida leaned his head back against the shoulder of the drummer and did his best to look enthralled. He brought one hand up and placed it on Haru's cheek and slowly licked his lips.

All the while, the cameras flashed and the photographer's muttered instructions to the workers who moved the lamps into various positions for each photograph.

The white of Haru's clothing contrasted sharply with the black of Ishida's outfit, giving the whole thing a kind of surreal glow and Hatori found himself almost lost in all of it. But something bitter and dark began to grow deep inside of him as he watched them, just barely preventing him from slipping into the fantasy world they had created.

His lips pressed into a thin line in an attempt to not look as upset as he felt inside. Just beneath the calm exterior boiled a million and one emotions, each threatening to overflow and bring him crashing down with them. How had he become so attached in such a short period of time? And besides... it wasn't like Ishida had promised him anything except to steal that first kiss. Hatori's heart pounded out a rhythm laced with pain and desperation as he watched the scene before him unfold.

Ishida turned slightly in the drummer's arms and then reached out and grabbed the zipper on Haru's jacket and began to slowly drag it downward. A grin met his lips as he began to see just what Haru was wearing underneath. Once he'd completely unzipped it, Haru shrugged it off of one shoulder and Ishida died laughing. His t-shirt was bright pink and proudly proclaimed, in big silver lettering, 'You'd Hit This!'

Of course the photographers immediately had a field day with this, having Haru stand alone to show the entire shirt to the cameras.

Ishida slipped out of the way and came to stand beside of Hatori. He grinned at him as he slid one arm around his shoulders. "Glad to see you don't look jealous or anything."

Hatori looked vaguely surprised. 'Well... at least I hide my feelings well, I guess.' He glanced over at the vocalist before continuing the charade. "Should I be?"

"Not a chance. We just do that stuff for the cameras. If we were for real, I think Aki would have had a heart attack long ago." He smirked. "Besides," he turned toward Hatori and slid one hand into his hair, "it's you I want to kiss, not him." His lips lightly ghosted over Hatori's, giving just the right amount of touch to send thrills down Hatori's spine. Ishida regretfully pulled back as he was called back over by the photographers.

Words were briefly exchanged between Ishida and two of the cameramen and then Ishida turned back to Hatori, a faint blush on his cheeks. "Eh... it seems they saw what I just did... and um..." he ran one hand through his bleached blonde hair, "they want to take pictures of you with me now. But... they have to have your permission and if you don't want to give it, that's fine, so don't feel obligated or anything."

Hatori's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "But... me?" He stared down at his clothes. "I'm hardly dressed for this and... besides... what would your fans say?"

"If they run this, they're going to run it as a special... featuring pictures of me... and my new boyfriend." He swallowed nervously, wondering just how Hatori was going to take this particular bit of information.

Hatori stared at him almost disbelievingly and then came closer to him and continued the conversation in a hushed voice. "But... is that... are we...? I..." he sighed softly and jammed his hands into his pockets, his cheeks now burning with embarrassment. He nervously chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to formulate the question better in his head.

Ishida pulled Hatori into a hug, which the teenager quickly returned. "Of course we're together... unless that's not what you want..." he murmured softly into Hatori's ear.

Hatori's arms tightened around his waist and a smile lit up his entire face as he buried it in the nape of Ishida's neck. "It's what I've always dreamed of..."

Ishida smiled brightly. "Then it is official, we are now exclusively... dating."

Hatori could have burst with sheer joy right about then. He'd never been happier in his entire life than he was in that exact moment. He pulled back slightly and stared into Ishida's blue eyes. "I'll do the photo shoot then."

Within seconds cameras were going off all around them. The two blonde haired boys continued to stay in their loving embrace, no longer caring if the entire world saw them or not.

Ishida smiled the truest smile he'd had in a very long time as he stood there, Hatori in his arms, the click of cameras in the background, the glare of the lights in his eyes, and every beat of his heart reminding him of just how he felt about Hatori. Even in such a short time, he'd managed to develop feelings for the eighteen year old boy like he'd never had for anyone else. And in those moments, nothing else truly mattered except keeping that beautiful smile upon Hatori's face, that happiness in his eyes, and his warm body close to his own.

He slowly leaned down and captured Hatori's lips with his own, gently pushing Hatori's hair back from his face and tucking it behind his ear. He allowed his other hand to rest in the small of his lover's back as he pulled Hatori flush against him and slightly deepened the kiss. When Hatori let out a soft whimpering moan, he pulled away and gently brushed his knuckles against the teen's flushed face. "Daisuki," he murmured softly, his voice almost too low for even Hatori to hear him.

Hatori tilted his head slightly, pondering the words and their possible meanings as they began to pose as they were asked to by the photographers. He tucked the phrase safely away in his mind for later translation and put on his most charming smile for the cameras.

Almost two whole hours later, all five of them left the building, completely exhausted from the three and a half hours they'd spent inside the Cure Magazine photo rooms.

Hatori glanced at his watch and was shocked to see that it was only two o'clock in the afternoon. He leaned back against the soft leather seat of the limo and closed his eyes.

His thoughts slowly drifted to the fact that they were leaving Tokyo tomorrow morning, heading for Yokohama. He carefully began to search his memories for facts on Yokohama from his world history classes in high school. He smirked when he realized he could recall more than he'd thought he even managed to learn.

Yokohama is quite close to Tokyo, about half an hour from Tokyo if you take a train. Not only that, but it is the second largest city in Japan and also the capital of the Kanagawa Prefecture. And, if he recalled correctly, it was home of a very large Japanese garden with quite a few historical buildings on its grounds.

He opened his eyes again and stared out the window of the limo as they wound through the streets of Tokyo. Every building they passed became another memory forever imprinted upon his mind, every flash of neon another impression, every sign tucked away for future reflection, and every face carefully set aside for later inspection.

Today was not simply another day... no, today was something special, something he wanted to remember every single second of. A smile remained upon his lips, something he could not hide and no longer wanted to. His entire being felt as though a significant weight had been lifted away; as though something were pulling him higher and higher each and every moment. It was something akin to overcoming a vast obstacle in your way, pushing past every barrier life had set in front of you, and taking the golden orb of light offered to you and finding it overflowing with joy after a life lived in desperate pain. And it was not anything that he ever wanted to let go of... no matter what.


	13. Chapter 13

Icy cold fingers of fear gripped at his heart, terror and agony ripped down to his very soul. Tears leaked unbidden from his eyes, slowly trailing down his cheeks and onto the pillow below. His small frame thrashed around in the crisp white sheets and soft mewls of displeasure left his lips as the visions before him continued to torment him.

Bright lights shone through the glass, blinding everyone within the confines of the car.

The small blonde child held his hands up in front of his face and whined. "Mommy, it hurts!"

"It's okay, sweetie." The tall blonde turned to look at her son and smiled reassuringly as her hand came back to gently clasp his knee.

"Fuck!" The driver of the vehicle swore loudly as he turned the wheel as abruptly as he could in what would prove to be a vain attempt to avoid the oncoming semi-truck.

The mother's hand gripped the young boy's leg harder as a gasp of terror escaped her lips.

The squeal of rubber upon pavement filled the child's ears and he clasped his hands over them in an attempt to block the sound out as much as possible.

Seconds later the sickening crunch of metal and the breaking of glass was all that could be heard.

The small child screamed as he realized what was happening. The big truck had ruined their car!

The vehicle spun around once, only to be struck a second time by the still oncoming semi-truck. This time it hit the rear of the car, causing it to flip and roll three times before coming back to rest on all four, now bald, tires.

The small child was now shaking and crying, the screaming long since forgotten. His eyes were squeezed closed in some small attempt to block it all out, as though he hoped that if he couldn't see it, it wouldn't be real. Someone coughed in a sickeningly frightening way and he could hear them whispering his name.

"H...atori..."

He slowly opened his hazel-green eyes and peered toward the front of the car. He could still feel his mothers hand on his leg and he reached down to take it as he leaned forward. When she didn't return his grip, he looked down at her hand and found it to be broken and bleeding. His eyes widened and his heart slammed against his ribcage violently. "Mommy?"

Her other hand came back, almost desperately flailing around between the seats. "Do you s...smell... that?"

The small blonde head nodded and then he realized that she wasn't looking at him. "Yes, Mommy."

"Get out... out of... the c...car, Ori."

Tears spilled down his face. "But, M-mommy!" He gripped the hand in his lap harder as his face screwed up in confusion.

"Be-because Mommy... loves you." A soft smile met her lips as her hand fell back against her. "Get out... and run. Run from the car."

Hatori sobbed as he unfastened his seatbelt and tried to crawl over the seats and into the front. Thick smoke swirled above his head, making it difficult for him to breathe.

"No, Ori!" But the words left her lips seconds too late to do any good.

What he saw in those few seconds would forever be etched into his mind, forever haunt his dreams, and become the heaviest of burdens upon his soul.

Blood everywhere. A steel rod going directly through his father's chest and his father hanging limply, lifelessly, over the steering wheel as his life blood drained steadily from the wound. His mother pinned into the seat by the dashboard, her once beautiful long legs now crushed beneath it. Multiple shards of glass embedded into her chest, blood seeping from every one of them onto her pale yellow dress, spreading like a flowers pedals opening for the first time.

His small hand reached out and caressed his father's face once as tears continued to fall from his eyes. He knew what death was... no one had been so unkind as to not teach him about it, and he knew for certain that his father must be dead. He turned and reached out for his mother, a small whimper leaving his lips.

 

"Leave now, Ori... run from the car." She coughed again and blood came up with the force of the cough.

Hatori had never been one to disobey his parents and she was telling him to run from the car. He couldn't fathom why, but if she told him to do it, then he had to. He struggled back between the seats and tried to open the door on her side of the car. It wouldn't move at all. He desperately reached for the other one, now sobbing as his hand closed over the handle and he shoved as hard as he could. Adrenaline kicked in and as he slammed himself against the door again, it burst open and he fell out onto the damp pavement below.

...Damp... why was it damp? There was no rain, there hadn't been any in weeks.

He shrugged off the question, scrambled up from the ground, and broke into a run, heading down the highway in the direction he thought they'd last been headed. A few seconds after he began to run a pained scream met his ears and he stopped and turned around.

The small blue sedan was now on fire. The bright orange and yellow flames quickly began to engulf the entire car. Bright blue streaked across the pavement as the screams continued. The entire car exploded, flames and metal went flying everywhere and the fire became even stronger.

Hatori started back toward the car, his hands outstretched toward it. "Mommy! No... no... no... MOMMY!!!" He broke into a run only to stumble over his untied shoestring and fall to his hands and knees sobbing. He tried to calm himself, wanting to hear something... anything besides the fire. But nothing besides the fire could be heard, the pained screams had stopped as soon as the explosion had occurred.

Headlights rounded the corner and tires squealed as the driver of this new vehicle came to an abrupt stop. The hazard lights of the car flashed to life and a tall man in a business suit exited the vehicle, a cell phone pressed to his ear.

Hatori had turned at the noise of the car stopping and was still crouching on the side of the road, his entire frame trembling. He couldn't decide if he should still run or if it would be okay to be around this stranger... just this once.

Hatori clawed at the now damp sheets below him, sobbing uncontrollably into his pillow, his entire face twisted into a mask of pure pain and fear.

Ishida slowly rolled over and blinked sleepily at Hatori's bed in the semi-darkness. The sobbing became clearer and he quickly sat up, pushed the covers away from his body, and hurried to the other bed. He reached out and gently pushed the boy's blonde hair away from his face. "Hatori?"

Tears continued to roll down the teen's pale face as his fingers gripped the sheets until his knuckles turned white from the strength of his grip. A soft whimper escaped his lips.

Ishida pulled back the sheets to reveal Hatori's upper body and he sat down beside of him, gently shaking him. "Hatori, wake up."

Hatori's eyes slowly opened and he blinked up at Ishida, sniffling softly.

Ishida let out a sigh of relief. "Good... you're awake. Are you okay?"

Hatori sniffled again and slowly nodded his head, a sinking feeling settling in the bottom of his stomach. 'I must look like a moron... eighteen years old and having a stupid nightmare.' He felt something soft press against his hand and he glanced down.

Ishida gently pressed a tissue into Hatori's hand, a look of concern still reflected clearly in his blue eyes.

Hatori sat up slightly and accepted the tissue. He mopped at his eyes with it and then blew his nose and deposited the tissue into the wastebasket between their beds. "Thank you..."

Ishida reached out and gently pushed Hatori's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. As he let his hand fall away, he brushed his fingertips against the boy's slightly flushed cheek. His voice was low when he spoke. "Even when you're upset, you're still beautiful."

Hatori immediately blushed and averted his eyes.

They sat in silence for quite a while until Ishida decided to just ask what was on his mind. "What had you so worked up in your dream?"

Hatori looked up, his eyes wide for a moment before he looked away. "Oh... um... just something from the past..."

"It must have been horrible to cause you to be this upset..."

"Mmmm..." He shifted slightly. "Don't worry about it..."

Ishida reached over and placed his hand on Hatori's. "I'm your boyfriend now... I think if something was that bad in your past, maybe I should know about it... otherwise, I can't help you any."

Hatori looked up and met the vocalist's deep blue eyes. "... You really want to know?"

Ishida nodded.

"It's not pretty, you know..."

"Life isn't always pretty."

Hatori spent the next fifteen minutes explaining the entire incident to Ishida, including how the man who'd arrived had called the police and how long the ride home to Maru had seemed even longer when one is in the back of a police car, knowing that both of your parents have just died and that you've barely got a single scratch on you.

Ishida reached over and pulled Hatori into his arms and held him close. "I'm sorry you had to go through that... I can't even begin to imagine..."

Hatori wrapped his arms around Ishida's waist and snuggled his head against his shoulder... his very naked shoulder. Hatori's breath caught in his throat as his gaze swept over the vocalist. 'Oh dear god... he's only in his boxers.' His heart beat faster and his breath came in shorter bursts as heat swept through his body. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down, not wanting to seem like all he ever had on his mind was sex.

Ishida noticed the change in Hatori's breathing and even the slight change in his body temperature. He tilted his head to look down at the boy and smiled softly. 'Even after just being so upset, I can affect him like this. With a simple touch, he's completely mine.' He shifted Hatori ever so slightly and leaned down to capture Hatori's mouth with his own.

They began the battle of dominance, fighting in the most pleasant of ways, their tongue's dancing around one another, exploring all that the other had to give. Every second brought a greater fire within each of them and every instant brought another victory in battle.

Hatori's hands found their way into Ishida's hair and he fisted the short blonde locks into his hand as he drove his tongue deeper into the vocalist's mouth. He deepened the kiss even more and was rewarded by a soft moan. He moved positions so that he was straddling Ishida and gave one tug to the vocalist's hair, indicating he should lay back.

Ishida lay back against the bed, allowing Hatori the dominate position. He needed it... he needed to feel in control of something and if that something was this, then so be it. His own hands trailed lightly over Hatori's pale skin as he kissed him with equal fervor.

Hatori slowly let go of Ishida's hair and allowed his hands to roam over the perfect body beneath him. His arousal grew by the second and soon enough he found himself stripping away the boxers of the proverbial god beneath him. He moved down Ishida's body and then leaned down and lightly licked the underside of the older blonde's erection.

Ishida let out a gasp of shock, promptly followed by a moan of pleasure. He reached down and placed one hand on the back of Hatori's head, gently urging him to continue.

Hatori looked up at Ishida, memorizing his expression of pleasure, filing it away for the dark lonely nights he knew would one day arrive. A sad smile ghosted across his lips for the slightest moment. Another soft moan from the man beneath him and he slowly slid the rigid length of his lover into his mouth, savoring the smooth flesh and the slightly bitter taste of his pre-cum.

Ishida couldn't help but arch his hips as he watched Hatori go down on him. Another moan escaped his lips, louder than before. His heart pounded in his chest and his grip on Hatori tightened ever so slightly. "Ahh..."

Hatori slowly took the rest of Ishida's length in and allowed himself to adjust to it for a moment before starting a constant rhythm. He slid his free hand down to his own aching desire and quickly pushed the material of his boxers out of the way before grasping the swollen flesh and quickly beginning to jerk himself off. He moaned in pleasure, the vibration against Ishida causing the vocalist to use the lungs that the gods had bestowed upon him as he cried out and arched from the bed once more.

For a brief moment Hatori worried about just how loud Ishida had become, but he promptly tossed the thought aside when the vocalist began to thrust in and out of his mouth almost desperately. He quickly followed suit, stroking himself even faster as he allowed Ishida to fuck his mouth. He moaned again, his groin tightening with his impending release and that was all that Ishida needed. In the next instant warmth flooded Hatori's mouth and he quickly swallowed against Ishida's thick shaft. He slowed his rhythm down, wanting to last just a little longer. The last bit of cum lingered in his mouth as he slowly pulled away from Ishida's slowly softening length. He slowly slid up his lover's body and captured his cherry red lips with his own. Slowly, seductively, he slid his tongue into Ishida's mouth, coating the vocalist's tongue with his own cum before pulling away.

Ishida stared up at Hatori in slight shock. His heart still beat out a frantic rhythm in his chest and his body still felt heavy from the impact of his orgasm. He watched, fascinated by how un-inhibited Hatori had become in such a short period of time, as the younger blonde began to stroke himself once more.

Hatori set astride Ishida's hips, his hand fisted around his now throbbing length, his pace fast, his flesh heated, and an aura of pure sex radiating from his entire body. His other hand rested lightly on Ishida's chest.

Hazel-green eyes met blue and a breathy sigh of pleasure escaped Hatori's lips as his hips bucked slightly against his hand. His eyelids fluttered closed as his nails bit into Ishida's skin, leaving a thin trail of blood behind as his hand slid down his chest. A few seconds later he let out a low guttural moan as he came.

Ishida couldn't help but watch the beautiful sight above him, even as his lover's nails bit into his flesh, his gaze did not waver from the passionate figure astride him. Warm liquid splashed across his abdomen as Hatori let out a moan that sent shivers of pleasure down Ishida's spine. Moments later the long haired blonde slid off of him, collapsing onto the bed beside of him.

Hatori breathed a soft sigh as he lay there recovering from his release. His eyes remained closed until he felt the bed shift. He opened his eyes to find Ishida sitting up, facing away from him, the tissue box on the bed beside of him. Hatori slowly sat up and moved behind Ishida, peering over his shoulder as he pressed against his back. A soft gasp left his lips as his eyes met the sight of blood. "Oh god... did I do that?"

Ishida turned slightly to smile at him. "You marked me." His voice was soft and held no malice for the actions, but that didn't stop Hatori from looking like someone had just given him the worst news of his life. "Hey... stop looking like that."

"But... I..."

Ishida cut him off. "I don't care. Besides, I kind of enjoyed it." He winked at Hatori, a sly grin teasing his lips.

Hatori breathed a defeated sigh and grabbed a tissue to dab up the small amount of blood. "Still... I uh... well, I broke you."

Ishida let out a laugh. "In more ways than one I'm afraid, my dear sweet Hatori." He smirked at the younger boy. "And I wouldn't mind if you did it again either!"

Hatori blushed as he threw the tissue into the trashcan. A few seconds of searching around on the floor and he found his boxers and then Ishida's. He pulled his on and held Ishida's out to him.

Ishida accepted them, pulled them on, and then pulled Hatori into his arms and kissed him gently. When he pulled back he pushed Hatori's bangs out of the way and smiled at him. "We should really get some proper rest before tomorrow."

Hatori nodded and pulled away, crawling back into bed.

Ishida went to his bed as well and slipped beneath the covers.

Both of them were asleep almost as soon as their head's hit the pillows. Deep, dreamless, sleep greeted them and held them cradled softly in its arms until morning light.


	14. Chapter 14

Blood seeps from my body, dying everything around me a deep crimson red. I lay here on the cold tile, my wrists bound behind my back, my mouth gagged to prevent me from screaming out in pain or in some vain attempt to get help. The cruelty of his words ring in my ears, telling me just how little he thinks of me, screaming in a voice like that of the devil himself, telling me that I'm nothing but a whore... that I somehow asked for all of this.

The smallest droplet of my pain burns a hot trail down my cheek as questions flood my mind. Why is this happening to me? Why couldn't I fight hard enough to stop him from creating this new world of pain for me? Am I really so weak, so useless, that it must come down to this?

The thoughts only create a deep, bitter brand of pain within me and tears streak down my face, a never-ending stream to signify the sorrow within. My cheek presses harshly against the freezing cold linoleum tiles of the bathroom floor. Slowly they begin to warm from my tears alone.

God... why this pain? My entire body aches from his abuse, from over an hour of this torment and searing anguish. One thing stands out amongst all the others, one part of me aching more than anything else. The very first wound that he inflicted upon me, but by far not the last; a deep slit along my left wrist.

Repeatedly, this man violates me, slamming himself deep within me over and over again. I cry out against the gag as searing pain shoots through my entire body, not caring anymore if he hits me for not being quiet. It all just hurts too fucking much now... I feel like I'm being ripped into pieces.

I wish for all of it to simply be over and done with... death wouldn't be unwelcome in comparison to this pain, this humiliation. Yet, I don't want to die like this.

What have I done to deserve this fate? Is this because I shared my vision with the world? Is it because of the passion I display in my every action? Or is it because he cannot accept me for who I am? Why is it that I see this as somehow my own fault? Perhaps it is he who is at fault, he who is simply psychotic enough to do all of this.

Another train of thought pulls at me and I begin to feel slightly ill.

He's not bad-looking, not really my type, but not ugly by far. He wouldn't have trouble finding a partner if he tried. Which can only mean that he's not doing this out of desperation, but rather, for some deeper reason. As that thought crystallizes in my mind, a secondary thought begins to overpower it. What if he's violating me because he's a fan and he wanted this so badly that he'd do anything to get it?

I wretch slightly and my entire body shudders in revulsion. He notices and laughs harshly before leaning down to whisper in my ear. His voice makes me want to disappear and it becomes one more thing about this night that will be eternally etched into the facets of my mind.

"Isn't this what you've always wanted, Aki? Someone to fuck you just like this?"

I want to scream at him, to tell him that he's full of shit... that I never asked for any of this. In truth, if I had any hope of getting free, I'd rip him limb from limb. The rage boiling within me threatens to spill over and I start to struggle once more, despite the fact that the world is now beginning a slow spiral before my very eyes.

I slip on something as I try to pull away from him. My head hits the side of the tub and he laughs harshly behind me. The world goes black for an instant and then brilliant white. Slowly the stars fade from before my eyes and I turn my head ever so slightly to see just what I slipped on.

Dark red pools beneath me on the tiles of the hotel bathroom floor. I close my eyes for a moment, my stomach churning as I realize that this can only mean one thing. I glance down again, turning my head even more, attempting to get a better look, wanting to verify my worst fears.

Blood slowly trickles down my side from the small of my back, where my hands are tightly bound. Another trail of crimson slowly meanders down my inner thigh to pool around where I kneel.

My breath rasps out and I start to realize just how weak I am already becoming. My mind cries out in pain and fear.

Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you, you sick, twisted, sadistic fucking bastard?!

A half sob manages to escape past the gag in my mouth as desperation and a cold feeling settle over me.

Help me... someone, please... dear God... help me. Please make this stop... anything... I'll do anything to make it stop.

I close my eyes and allow the tears to flow once more, unable to even care that I'm crying.

...Haru... where are you? Please... Haru...

The world slowly begins to dim before my eyes as I draw in a slightly strangled breath.

Is this it? Am I dying?

I pull one last beautiful, treasured memory out from the recesses of my mind. I refuse to die thinking only of this pain.

In my mind, Haru pulls me close to him, gently running his hand through my jet black hair. He leans down and kisses me with a passion that I'd never experienced before that night. Slowly he pulls back and looks deep into my eyes. His hand ghosts over my cheek as he whispers a confession of his love to me.

The world fades out into black and all thoughts cease to exist, all pain ceases to be.

Just as my captor thrusts into me one final time, I go limp in his grasp. He pulls away and smirks down at my lifeless body as he pulls his clothes back on. Without another thought, he turns away and leaves me there, the evidence of his crime engulfing the entire room with the deadly morbidity of it all.

Now it's over... it's all over. Nothing but darkness... emptiness... an eternal abyss of absolute void....


	15. Chapter 15

Haru paced the length of the elegant hotel hallway in front of the door to room 719. He'd been knocking for over ten minutes now and Aki still wasn't answering the door.

They'd agreed to meet at one a.m., well past the time everyone else was at least in their own rooms, if not asleep already. It was their thing... almost a ritual; the only way to even attempt to hide the fact that they were dating one another.

Despite the fact that Haru was very open about his sexuality, Aki had yet to fully admit it to even himself, much less the rest of the band or the fans. For Haru, it was fine that way. He really didn't mind having to sneak around in order to get even a single kiss from the guitarist... just so long as he got it.

He paused once more in front of the door and raised his fist, then sighed softly before knocking once more. He pressed his ear against the door, hoping to hear at least some kind of movement from within. Taking one step back, he stared at the door, his almost grey eyes shining sadly. His hand slid into the pocket of his jeans and tightened around the gift he'd wanted to give Aki tonight. His eyes slid closed for a moment as he ran one hand slowly down the door. "Aki..." he murmured softly, before turning away and starting back down the hallway.

He leaned against the wall beside the elevator as he waited on it, an uneasy feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach. 'God... what's wrong with me? This is really stupid. So he fell asleep on you for the first time ever, big fucking deal.'

The elevator beeped and the doors slid open.

He slipped inside and reached out to push the button for the ninth floor. He paused halfway to pressing the number and then impulsively pressed the lobby button instead. Something was bugging him and he needed to find out just what it was. He was half afraid of what he'd find if he went through with this, but what if Aki needed him? He couldn't just ignore the feeling or he'd probably end up laying awake all night worrying over it.

The elevator doors slid open and he stepped out into the lobby and headed for the reception desk.

The female attendant glanced up at him and smiled. "May I help you, Haru-sama?"

He gave a slight nod. "Yeah... can you call room 719 and see if anyone answers for me?"

She gave him an odd look, but picked up the phone and dialed anyway. After a minute, she set the phone back in its cradle and shook her head. "No one answers in that room. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Haru started to say no, but stopped just short of the word leaving his mouth. "That's Aki's room... is there any way I could get a room key for it?"

She arched an eyebrow at him and began to tap her long fingernails on the counter in front of her. "I'm not supposed to do things like that..."

He sighed. "I doubted you were. But, see, I was supposed to meet him to go over some changes for one of the songs. It's been about fifteen minutes and no one's answering the door. I'm just wondering if maybe he's sick or something. It'd be nice if someone could help if that was the case, yes?" He turned imploring eyes on her, hoping his best begging look would help him out.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before reaching over and punching in some numbers on the little machine and inserting a plastic door key card in the slot. It beeped softly and she removed the key card and handed it to him. "I'm going to put it down that he got two cards to begin with and we'll just assume he gave you one, okay?"

Haru nodded, thanked her, and then rushed off toward the elevator again. He lightly tapped the key card against his other hand as he waited on the floors to pass and the doors to slide open. When they did, he rushed out and down the hall to Aki's room. He knocked again and then slid the card into the slot. He pushed the door open a few inches and called out, "Aki? I'm coming in." He slid the door the rest of the way open and slipped inside.

The bed was still made and Aki's suitcase was untouched. The table lamp was on and the bathroom door was closed, a small sliver of light slipping out from beneath the door.

Haru listened and heard nothing from the bathroom, but reached over and knocked lightly anyway. "Aki? Are you in there?" Worry filled him as his hand reached out and gripped the doorknob. He turned it and pushed the door open.

His eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. A sick feeling filled his entire being and a slight tingle began at the base of his spine and worked its way up to his head. He swallowed hard and jammed one shaking hand into his pocket, grabbing his cell phone and yanking it out. He flipped it open and dialed emergency response as fast as he could.

"Emergency Response, what is the nature of your emergency?"

"Blood... it's everywhere." His hands shook harder and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. "I... I think he's dead."

"Sir, where are you?"

"Cammerson Hotel, on Sakura, room seven nineteen."

There was a pause on the other end and then the feminine voice came back on the line. "An ambulance has been dispatched to your location. Can you please check if the person in question has a pulse?"

He stared at the floor between him and Aki and his stomach clenched slightly. "So much blood... god..." He picked his way across the room and then knelt down beside the guitarist. He reached out toward his wrist and stopped short. "Oh god... his wrist is slit. It's still bleeding a lot. What should I do?"

"Is there a clean hand towel or wash cloth nearby?"

He glanced at the sink and reached over and grabbed a hand towel. "Yes, I have one."

"Carefully place it over the wound and apply pressure. Try not to disturb anything else if at all possible."

He tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder and reached out with both hands, gently lifting Aki's bound hands and pushing the rope back as much as he could with the hand towel before wrapping it around his wrist and holding it there with his left hand. He slid his right hand over to Aki's other wrist and closed his eyes, trying to feel his pulse. "There, he still has a pulse, very slow and faint, but still there." Slight relief flooded through him as he spoke those words. He blinked back the still-present tears and took in a shaky breath. "His hands are tied behind his back... someone else did this to him..."

The woman didn't respond for a minute, but then informed him that the emergency crew had arrived at the building and would be let in by management and that he should stay exactly where he was.

He murmured his acknowledgement into the phone and nervously waited.

A minute or so later, the door to the hotel room opened and two men carrying a stretcher came in.

Haru glanced up at them. "I've only touched his wrist to try to stop the bleeding; other than that, just the door, the towel, and his other wrist to find a pulse. I stepped over all the blood on the floor and called emergency as soon as I opened the bathroom door."

The first man nodded. "Please step carefully back out here."

Haru got up and came back out of the room, allowing them access to Aki, turning off and putting away his cell phone in the process.

They cut the gag from his mouth and slid it into a plastic bag from their black medical case. The same happened with the rope that bound his wrists. One of the men applied pressure to his wrist and the other took a few quick swab samples and then they moved him onto the stretcher, pulling a white sheet up to his neck.

As they stood up to leave, Haru quickly opened the door for them and stood back, holding it. They passed him and the second man told him to follow them. They took the elevator down to the lobby and then quickly moved out to the ambulance.

"You need to come with us."

Haru nodded and got into the ambulance. He watched as they poked around at Aki, taking vitals and checking on the wound to his wrist.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the hospital and the two men rushed Aki off to the Emergency Room. The driver of the ambulance got out and escorted Haru to the waiting room, where two policemen were already waiting on him.

He slid into one of the plastic chairs and began to do his best to field the barrage of questions from the police.


	16. Chapter 16

Haru sat in the dingy blue plastic chair, his hands attempting to hide his face from anyone who cared to notice. Tears streaked down his cheeks and soft, half sobs escaped him every so often.

It had been nearly three hours since he'd arrived at the hospital and he'd been drilled by the policemen for nearly two hours of that time, only to be left alone in his misery. They'd told him that they suspected that someone else had hurt Aki and left him to die in his hotel room, but that currently they had no real evidence since it was far too early for the lab to process what they had collected.

Almost twenty minutes ago, the doctor had come out and told Haru that a rape kit had been completed and sent to the lab and that Aki had needed a blood transfusion due to severe blood loss. He'd been about to call his band mates when he'd received this news and that had been the last straw for him. In the next instant, he couldn't even think straight, much less call anyone. His cell phone had clattered to the floor and the tears had begun.

He was finally starting to calm down enough to at least think properly. The only thoughts he could clearly grasp were questions... so many questions. 'Why? Who? How long had his lover been lying there dying? Will Aki survive this?' And then one more thought, crystalline in definition. 'Someone else touched my Aki. Someone took him and violated him... and then hurt him and left him to die.' A low half snarl left his lips as he reached down and snatched his cell phone from the floor. 'They'll pay... if I ever lay my hands on them... they'll die. And it won't be fast either... no... it will be slow and utterly excruciating.'

He stood up, turned away from the dank white of the hospital waiting area and stalked outside. He flipped his cell phone open and quickly dialed Sotatsu's cell phone number.

Four rings later a groggy voice answered the phone. "Oy?"

"Sotatsu... it's Haru."

There was a grunt on the other end and then silence.

Haru took that to mean he should continue and he quickly said the first thing that came to mind. "Aki and I are at the hospital. You need to get down here. I'm calling Ishida in a minute."

Silence continued for a moment and the Sotatsu's shaky voice came back on the line, "What hospital, Haru?"

Haru took a few steps out from the shelter of the awning of the building and looked up at the sign. "Yokohama-shi Yakan Kyubyo Senta."

"Okay, you call Ishida and tell him I'll be at his room in about ten minutes. We'll all come together."

"Sure..." Haru punched the button to end the call and pressed number two on his speed dial.

Four and a half rings later, Ishida's voice came on the line. "Hai?"

"It's Aki... he's... in the hospital. I'm here with him. Be ready in ten minutes, Sotatsu will come to your room and you'll all come together." Without even thinking he punched the off button and turned around and headed back inside. Just as he was about to sit down again, the doctor re-appeared.

"Mr. Fukushima?"

Haru nodded. "That's me..."

"Mr. Aomori is awake and is asking specifically for you. It's not visiting hours, but he is very insistent that he see you immediately. We do not want him to work himself up too much, so we are allowing you to visit with him if you so desire."

Haru nodded. "Yes, please."

The doctor turned and began to walk away down the long hallway. "Please follow me."

He paused in front of a small curtained area and gestured at it. "This is where he is at for now. We will move him to an observation room in a few hours." With that, the smaller man turned away and continued down the hallway.

Haru pushed back the curtain and poked his head in. "Aki?"

"... Haru?"

Haru came in, pulled the curtain closed behind him, and went to stand beside of the hospital bed. He stared down at his lover, barely able to keep himself from grabbing the slightly younger man and hugging him. "... How are you feeling?" He took a seat in the yellow plastic covered chair beside of him and peered intently at his lover.

There was a long pause before Aki spoke and when he did, it was in a quiet, ashamed voice. "Like shit... I... someone," he let out a soft sigh and turned his head away from Haru's gaze. He swallowed hard and tried again. "Did you find me?"

Haru reached out and placed his hand on Aki's forearm. "Yes."

"I prayed that you would save me..."

Tears welled up instantly in Haruhiko's eyes and he desperately tried to blink them away. "I... I wish I hadn't had to..."

Aki slowly shook his head. "I'm glad it was you and not one of the others... not in the morning when you'd have found me dead like that." He turned back to look at Haru, tears streaking down his cheeks from the combination of stress, pain, and humiliation. "I'm sorry to ruin tonight for you..."

Haru stared at Aki, shock clearly written across his face. "No... don't say that. This is not your fault and I won't let you apologize for it." He shook his head almost violently.

Aki gave him a half smile. "He wasn't gentle like you are..."

Haru winced slightly as he stared at the ground. "I noticed... what exactly happened?"

Aki let out a bitter half laugh. "I'm an idiot... I thought you'd come early and I didn't look... I just opened the door when he knocked, assuming it was you. He pushed me back into the room and clamped his hand over my mouth. Then he drug me into the bathroom and threw me against the floor. I hit my head and couldn't see anything for a minute. When I could see again, he was putting that damn gag thing in my mouth and my hands were already tied behind my back." He paused and glanced up at Haru. "I told the police all of this already... so don't worry too much... okay?"

Haru gave him a sad look. "I will always worry... I always have, and this only reinforces it..."

Aki nodded slightly and looked away again. "He stripped me, cutting my clothes off with a pocket knife and throwing them in the trashcan under the sink. Then he just..." he shook his head slightly, "he straddled me and started to beat the living hell out of me. The doctor says I'm going to look okay for the next day or so, but then the bruises will start showing up really bad. I guess I should be thankful he avoided my face... but playing guitar is gonna be hell for a while." He half lifted his arm and then let it flop back down onto the bed. "He used the knife to cut me... just thin, shallow slits at first and then deeper and deeper until he got to my wrist... then he just... cut it open completely. I screamed loud enough even through that gag that I'm sure the neighbors should have heard me... but maybe they were asleep or something," he sighed softly. "He cut me... there as well... the doctor says it should heal fine in a few days. Thankfully that wasn't too deep."

Haru let out a half sob, his hand clamped over his mouth in a vain attempt stop the sound from escaping. He met Aki's blue-grey eyes with his own light grey ones as tears slipped down his pale cheek.

Aki reached out to him with his good hand and Haru readily took it in his own. "I can stop if you want..."

Cropped black and red locks danced around Haru's face as he shook his head. "No... I... I want... no... I need to know."

Aki nodded before continuing. "Well... then he," he cringed, "the man raped me. No preparation or anything and he was far larger than what I'm used to." He winced at his wording and quickly made to apologize. "Not that I mean any kind of insult by that or anything..."

Haru squeeze Aki's hand gently. "I know..."

"Mmm... anyway, he said some stuff to me... asked me if that wasn't what I'd always wanted, for someone to fuck me like that... I tried to fight back several times, but I'm just not strong enough and he was a pretty large guy. Short black hair, pale blue eyes, fairly well built, and from the look of it... American, although he spoke perfect Japanese, no accent or anything. About six feet tall I'd say and he never fully took his clothes off. I know there were cameras in the hallways at the hotel, so I'm pretty sure they'll at least have evidence of him entering and leaving my room... I hope."

Haru gave a slight nod. "I'm sure they will... that bastard had better hope the police find him before I do or he's gonna be real fuckin' sorry..."

Aki squeezed Haru's fingers in his own tightly. "No, Haru... I don't want you to do anything to him... no matter what."

Haru gritted his teeth, his now icy cold gaze locked onto Aki's. "Give me one good reason."

"Because I couldn't bear to lose you. I..." his lower lip trembled slightly as he took a deep breath, "I'm in love with you, Haru. I think I would die without you and if you kill him, you'll be put away for murder." He pushed himself up into a sitting position on the bed and winced slightly as he turned to fully face Haru.

Haru's face slowly softened and he briefly closed his eyes. His fingers wrapped tightly around Aki's and he hung on for dear life, as though if he let go, the man in front of him might suddenly disappear. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and then opened his eyes again, staring deep into the abyss of his lover's eyes. "All these years... I've waited for those precious words. My heart has ached to hear them from you for so long. That alone has been the only reason that I ever ended up taking breaks from our relationship... I couldn't stand not knowing, always wishing and nothing more." He looked away for a moment, pursing his lips together.

He let go of Aki's hand and dug around in his pocket for a minute. Slowly he withdrew his hand, a small baggy clasped inside his fist. He held his hand out to Aki. "I was going to tell you everything last night... how much I love you, how long I've wanted to let you know exactly how I feel... all of it. There was only one way I could think of to tell you just how much you mean to me... and this was it."

Aki slowly reached out and took the baggy from the palm of Haru's hand. His fingers shook as he opened it and poured the contents out into the palm of his hand. He set the plastic baggy aside and slowly turned the small ring over and over in his hands. It was a simple silver-colored band, small engraved hearts interlocked with one another, alternating directions around the entire ring. On the inside, a tiny message was engraved: Aki, Aishiteru ~Haru.

Aki turned his gaze back to Haru, his mouth slightly agape, his heart beating a million miles an hour within his chest. Tears misted over his eyes and he bit his lip harshly to hold them back. He picked the ring up in his right hand and placed it on his left ring finger and smiled broadly. "Well... I guess I now know why one of my rings went and disappeared for a week and suddenly re-appeared in your apartment a few months ago."

Haru smiled softly. "Actually, that's just a coincidence... I've had this for far longer than that."

Aki tilted his head slightly. "How long?"

Haru's smile faltered and he looked away. "It's not important... what's important is if you like it and accept it or not."

Aki stared at him like he'd lost his mind. "Of course I accept and I love it, Haru. Why on earth would I reject something so meaningful?"

Haru bit his lip for a moment and then sighed. "It... Aki, it means I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Aki's eyes brightened considerably and a radiant smile graced his lips. "And I with you, Haruhiko."

Haru looked up at him again as he too began to smile once more. He leaned over and held out his arms. "It's not possible for another person to ever be as happy as I am to hear you say that."

Aki leaned into his embrace, enjoying the gentle feel of his lover's arm wrapped around him. They stayed like that for quite a while until Aki decided to break the silence with some news that Haru might not know. "I can leave tomorrow evening... on one condition."

Haru pulled back enough to look down at Aki. "And what condition might that be?"

"That someone has to stay with me for at least the next week in case there happens to be any complications... like me bleeding out or something."

Haru nodded solemnly. "You'll stay in my room then."

Aki smiled against Haru's shoulder. A few moments later someone cleared their throat and Aki leaned up to look.

A very petite female nurse stood at the edge of the curtain for the room, holding a clipboard. "Mr. Aomori, we are ready to move you to your overnight observation room."

Aki fully released Haru and nodded. "Okay... can I try to walk... please?"

The nurse gave him a worried look and he gave her his best stubborn look. Finally, she nodded her consent. "I will follow you with a wheelchair and if Mr. Fukushima could walk beside you just in case you start to fall, that would be wonderful."

Haru nodded. "Of course."

He helped Aki to stand up from the bed and tied his gown together in the back while Aki stood leaning against the bed for support. Once he was done, he helped him to stand completely and kept a firm hold on his arm. "I won't let you go..." he stared deep into his eyes for a moment, "not ever."

Aki smiled at the deeper meaning of his words and allowed Haru to lead the way from the small curtained area and out into the main hallway. The nurse gave directions to the room and slowly they made their way there. When she opened the door for them, they found that Ishida, Hatori, and Sotatsu were already waiting for them.

Three very worried glances were bestowed upon Aki, who flinched away from their gazes and almost desperately clung to Haru. Haru pulled him closer to him and Aki whispered in his ear, "Please.... don't tell them if you haven't already. Let me tell what I want to... I don't think I can stand the humiliation if they know all of it..."

Haru nodded slightly and gently kissed Aki on the cheek. He slowly led him over to the bed and helped him into it.

The nurse checked his vital signs and then left them alone once more.

Aki turned to his friends, a solemn look on his face. "I was attacked by someone in my room and I would have died if Haru hadn't found me. I'm probably gonna be out of commission guitar-wise for at least a week unless they give me some really good painkillers. But hopefully, I'll be okay to play at the next live concert we have... in two and a half weeks, I should be able to. I don't guarantee a great show, but I'll do it no matter what."

Ishida slowly shook his head. "Aki... don't you dare push yourself too much. I won't allow it. We'll reschedule if we have to, it's not a big deal. It's just a concert. The fans will understand."

Aki shot him a cold look. "The fans will not understand. I refuse to let them know about this, period. I'm playing at that concert and you're not going to stop me."

Ishida stared at him like he'd lost it for a moment and then glanced at Haru questioningly.

Haru simply shook his head. "Just let him, Ishida..."

Ishida sighed as he ran a hand through his short blonde locks. "Fine... do as you want. But if you end up hurting yourself more, I won't let you play again no matter what until you're healed. I'll take your guitar away if I have to, I swear it."

Sotatsu simply stood in back of the others, looking as though he felt extremely out of place and Hatori took pity on him and quietly asked if he wanted to go get everyone something to drink. He agreed and they quietly slipped out of the room.

The remaining three lapsed into silence for quite a while. Ishida took a seat in a chair across the room and Haru settled down to sit beside of Aki, who turned in his bed to cling to Haru's arm.

After a few minutes Ishida spoke up again. "I'm not blind, you know..."

Aki gripped harder onto Haru's arm and Haru shot Ishida a slightly startled look. "Huh?"

Ishida gestured at them. "The way you two are when you're together... the real question is, are you two blind?"

Haru stared into Aki's eyes for a moment, a smile spreading across his lips. "We're not blind, are we, Aki?"

Aki shook his head and held up his hand for Ishida to see. "Soon the rest of the world will realize just what we mean to one another."

Ishida stood up and came to examine the ring.

Aki slipped if off his finger and held it out for Ishida to see.

Ishida examined the writing inside and smiled at them both. "It's about damn time." He held the ring back out to Aki and as he slipped it back on his finger, the vocalist laughed softly. "I got tired of having to hide the fact that I could plainly hear you two in the next hotel room. I've heard your little late night meetings for years, you know." He glanced up at Haru, who looked quite shocked, and winked. "I'll never tell anyone you were screwing each other in your spare time, but it won't be my fault if they could hear you just as well as I could." He grinned almost wickedly and turned away to go back and sit in the chair he'd claimed as his own.

The three remained in silence, Aki and Haru both blushing, and Ishida grinning like an idiot, until Sotatsu and Hatori returned with cans of fruit juice for everyone. The edgy feeling subsided and a general calm settled over the room as they all quietly spoke to one another, every now and then checking to see that Aki was okay.

Eventually, the guitarist fell asleep in the drummer's arms and everyone else headed back to the hotel to rest for the day.


	17. Chapter 17

Aki slowly opened his eyes, waking from a mostly peaceful sleep. He found himself entangled in the drummer's arms and he smiled to himself before attempting to pull away from him. The instant he moved, pain lanced through his entire body, making him gasp and fall back against Haru.

Haru woke the instant Aki's body collided with his own and he quickly wrapped his arms around the now whimpering guitarist. "Aki? What's wrong?"

A shudder ran through the frail-looking man before he managed to get enough air to speak again. "Itai... tried to get up..."

Haru gently pulled him closer as he reached over and pressed the button for the nurse. "Let's get you some pain killers, shall we?"

Aki swallowed hard and nodded. "Hai..."

Almost immediately a young brunette nurse poked her head into the room and grinned at them. "Aww, adorable! Did you two need something?"

Aki did his best to glare at her for calling them adorable, while Haru simply nodded and began to explain. "He's in a lot of pain whenever he moves. Could you please see if we can get some decent pain killers for him that will not inhibit his cognitive abilities?"

The nurse nodded and quickly exited the room.

Aki stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, until he realized Haru was speaking to him. "Hum?"

"Why were you trying to get up earlier?"

"Oh... um... oh yeah," he looked slightly embarrassed and tried to hide his face from drummer. "I had to..." he gestured at the bathroom door, "you know."

"Ah, just have to take a piss?"

Aki nodded slightly. "Yeah... pretty bad too, not sure how I managed to forget."

Haru reached over beside of the bed and grabbed a milky-colored odd-shaped jug from the edge of the roll away tray. He held it out to Aki and grinned at him. "That's what this is for."

Aki eyed the contraption with a skeptical look. "You've got to be kidding. You expect that to hold all of it?!"

Haru laughed softly. "That's probably why there’s two of them." He plunked the first one down on Aki's lap and reached over and grabbed the other one off the tray.

Aki winced before grabbing the jug and quickly jamming it under the sheets and pulling the sheet over his head to see what he was doing. He quickly yanked his hospital gown out of the way and fidgeted around for a few seconds until he found an appropriate position for both himself and the jug. He let out a half moan of satisfaction as he began to empty his overfilled bladder.

Haru snickered softly as he maneuvered the second jug under the covers and simply sat there waiting on Aki to finish. After a while Aki let out a slightly shocked sound and Haru could feel him tugging at the other jug almost frantically. He jammed his head under the covers as well and helped to get the filled jug out of the way and the new one in place. He pulled his head out from under the covers only to find a very amused nurse standing at the foot of the bed.

"Having fun?"

"Not really." Haru pulled the now full jug out from under the covers and held it out toward her. "Wanna do something about this?"

She arched her eyebrow at him and came around the side of the bed. She carefully put a small cup of pills and a glass of water on the rolling table and then took two latex gloves from the box above the bed. She held one gloved hand out to Haru.

Haru handed her the jug and she trundled off to the bathroom to empty it.

Aki finished with the second jug and shoved the covers off of his head; pulling the jug out and leaning heavily back against Haru's chest. "Mmm... much better."

Haru snickered. "I'm sure."

The nurse reappeared with the first jug and Haru handed her the second one. She dutifully headed off toward the restroom once more while Haru handed the pills and water to Aki. "Here, she brought these for you."

The nurse came back and set the second jug down on the rolling table. She held a slip of paper out to Haru. "Here's a prescription for pain meds. This is just for the refills, should he need them. The first prescription will be ready for pickup by the time he is released."

Haru nodded as Aki took the pills he'd been handed. Haru took the glass back and handed it to the nurse. "Thank you."

"The doctor should be in shortly with instructions and release papers."

Both Haru and Aki nodded, watching as the nurse turned and walked out of the room.

Haru slid one arm around Aki and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. He slowly ran his fingers through the other's hair. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

Aki stared down at the bleached white sheets of the bed, unable to hold back the wave of emotions that hit him. "I... maybe I used to be... maybe, I still am. But in a few days, I won't be anything except disgusting."

Haru stared at the love of his life, disbelief and sadness shining in his eyes. "Iie, Aki. You'll always be beautiful to me, no matter what."

Aki let a soft smile play over his lips as he relaxed even more into the arms of his lover. His fingers ran lightly over Haru's arm. "Just don't ever leave me... onegai."

"I'll be here as long as life permits me to be, I promise."

The sound of a pen tapping lightly on paper filled the room and both of them immediately looked up to find the doctor standing in the doorway.

The doctor smiled brightly at them and stepped further into the room. He came over and began to poke around at Aki, taking his blood pressure, pulse rate, temperature, and checking his stitches. After a few minutes he stepped back and nodded. "I think you can go home today, so long as someone will be with you at all times for the next week. Have you made arrangements?"

Haru put a protective arm around Aki's waist as he spoke. "I'm going to stay with him."

The doctor nodded. "Remember, if you have to go out or something, you need to have someone else come to watch over him while you are gone. You will also have to help out with showers, since he will not be able to move properly for at least a few days. Ensure that you pick up the pills from the pharmacy and call if anything happens." He held out his card and Haru took it. "That has my personal cell phone number on it and that's the best way to reach me should you need me in an emergency."

Haru nodded and stowed the card in his pocket. "I will take good care of him, trust me."

The doctor eyed him for a moment. "One last thing... I will not presume to know either of your sexual orientations, but should your relationship be an intimate one, Mr. Aomori should not engage in sexual relations for at least a week, possibly longer." He turned his gaze to Aki. "Should you find yourself needing any kind of counseling, we provide those services as well and I will gladly help you find a counselor that you will be comfortable with."

Aki shook his head. "I won't... I'm fine, just mad... maybe a little confused. But I'll be fine."

Haru turned his head away, attempting to hide the blush on his cheeks as he finally found his voice again. "I can assure you that I would never do anything to harm Aki."

The doctor nodded. "That is good to know." He looked back at Aki. "Do you have any clothing to change into for when you leave?"

Aki started to shake his head, but Haru put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "I know it's not exactly normal, but he can use my undershirt and jeans until we get back to my hotel room and get him some proper clothing."

The doctor shrugged. "Whatever you think is best." He turned away and with a wave of his hand, disappeared out the door. "You're free to go now."

Haru carefully got up and wandered into the bathroom to take off the clothes he was giving to Aki to wear.

Aki waited patiently for him to return, noticing that the throbbing pain had subsided into a dull ache; something tolerable, at least.

Haru returned in his t-shirt, boxers, and boots. He set the other articles of clothing down on the bed and then pulled the curtain closed around them for privacy.

Aki pushed the covers off of himself and began to attempt to stand up.

Haru placed a hand firmly on his shoulder. "Iie... stay there for now." He leaned over and reached around behind Aki, untying the hospital gown. Slowly he slipped the material from his lover's shoulders and allowed it to pool in his lap. He picked up his undershirt and gently helped Aki into it, one arm at a time. He picked up his jeans and knelt down in front of the guitarist, helping him to slide his feet into each leg of the garment. He tugged them up Aki's legs and then reached for the gown on his lap. He cast an imploring gaze at the slightly shorter man, silently asking him permission to continue helping him to dress.

Aki reached down and removed the gown himself, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he did. He placed his hands on Haru's shoulders and began to stand up.

Haru's arm snaked around his waist and helped him up. Once Aki was standing, Haru grasped the waistband of the jeans and began sliding them upward, quickly yet gently. "Can you fasten them or should I?"

Aki's legs and hands were shaking and he shook his head. "I think you have to, Haru... gomen nasai."

Haru took a deep breath and as gently as he could, managed to re-arrange Aki so that the zipper wouldn't catch him or anything and then managed to get the jeans buttoned and zipped. Slowly he set him back down and slid socks onto his feet. "I'd have given you the boots instead of my smelly socks, but I think they'd be too small for you."

Aki shook his head. "It's fine, Haru. Out of the two of us, I'm for sure more dirty right now anyway."

Haru grunted softly as he stood up and gathered Aki into his arms, bridal style. "Off to hail a cab we go!"

Aki squeaked in surprise as he was lifted into the drummer's arms, but settled on clinging to him after only a few seconds.

They made their way down the hallway and out the front doors of the hospital, earning a few odd looks in the process.

Aki buried his face into the crook of Haru's neck as Haru hailed a taxi cab. He reluctantly let go when Haru slid him into the seat of the cab and crawled in after him.

Haru told the cab driver what hotel they were staying at and then relaxed back against the seat as they started off toward their destination.


	18. Chapter 18

Sotatsu glanced out the hotel room window, sighing softly as he watched the buzz of the city some fifteen stories below him. Neon lights flickered on in a sporadic pattern, indicating the imminent chaos sure to follow as the night life poured out into the streets.

A soft smile graced his lips as he ran three fingers down the pane of glass in front of him. He found himself envious of those who were capable of living such a life. To be able to live in complete abandon, without reserve or caution... completely without the bindings he felt constricting so tightly around him every single day.

He laughed almost bitterly as he allowed his mind to wander over what outsiders must think of the life of a rock star. Surely they thought he spent his nights out partying or in glamorous company. Truth be told... he half wished that that were the truth, but it simply was not how things were played out in reality. Instead he sat in a chair, high up in his hotel room, his laptop emanating a soft glow in front of him as he browsed around the internet aimlessly. Night after night, this was all he ever did. No fancy high-class parties, no glamorous company, not even his band mates; just the laptop, his jeans and ripped t-shirt, and the faint buzzing sound of the icemaker down the hall.

He snorted as he thought of how he should start a blog with the title "The Life of Sotatsu" and spill all to his fans about just how dull and boring the bassist of Rise of the Setting Sun really was. He couldn't help but wonder what they'd think about it, if he'd lose fans because he wasn't the person they envisioned him to be or if they'd become his comfort... his company.

In all honesty, he already had a blog and he did essentially bare his soul on it. The only restraint was the fact that he pretended to be someone else on it... an internet persona that he'd created one night out of sheer boredom. Tu Yu was the name that he'd adopted online, should anyone actually ask for it. His blog, however, was under the name of Misguided_Soul, yet something else he'd concocted out of boredom, late one night, in a hotel room much like this one. He had his same basic looks and personality, only he wasn't a member of a band and likely didn't have a clue what a bass was, much less how to play one.

He shook the thoughts away, trying not to tempt himself with putting yet another entry into a blog that no one cared to read. No one except one person, by the name of TrippedHeart, who had set him as a friend a while back, but hadn't said so much as a single solitary thing to him.

He let out a soft sigh as he turned away from the window and back to the faint glow of his laptop screensaver. He moved the mouse slightly and it blinked off, revealing his open browser window, sitting in the one place he frequented more than anywhere else... Google.com. He gently placed his fingers on the keys and bit his lip slightly as he thought of what to search for. An idea popped into his head and he began typing into the little white box. "Rise of the Setting Sun fan". He smiled as he clicked the search button and waited on the results. 'This should be fun... seeing what our fans think of us.' His black eyes skimmed quickly over the first forty or so listings, as he already knew full well what they were, having done this a multitude of times prior to this. About three quarters of the way down the page though, he came to a stop and blinked very slowly at the entry, wondering if he was seeing things.

The entry read:  
"Story: Exile and Elation  
Author: Remedy, Hits: 3654. Disclaimer: The band members of Rise of the Setting Sun own themselves ... Feedback: Hellz ... Warnings - UST, M/M, RPS, HJ, ...  
celeb.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=3489786836590 - 21k - Supplemental Result  
Cached - Similar pages"

'What on earth... fanfiction... stories written by fans about us?' He moved his mouse over the title of the link and clicked once, half afraid of what he'd find. But then... what better way to understand how their fans perceived them? Eager to understand such a thing, he immediately scrolled down past the flashing banners to the beginning of the story.

Exile and Elation  
By: Remedy

Disclaimer: The band members of Rise of the Setting Sun own themselves, meaning I no own them!!!! (But I sure wish I did!) I don't make no money from this ficcy. I don't imply anything in here is truth, it is the product of too much caffeine, candy, lack of sleep, over-elation, and one night spent in a bus on the way to one of their concerts. (Zomg, I'd realah like ta think this is what wuld happen after a live!!!!!!!!!! ^__________________________^ *drool slobber* HAHAHAHAHA I rulez ur world 4 eva!)

Feedback: Hellz yea!

Warnings - UST, M/M, RPS, HJ, Oral (Why do I hav to put this tings in here no ways? It like ruinz it for yaz!)

 

Betas - Thank you earthychanneko94!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sotatsu blinked at the screen, then giving it a genuinely confused look. 'What in the hell do all those abbreviations mean and why on earth are they labeled as warnings? I get what Oral is... but other than that... does this person even know how to spell? My god... this is supposed to be a story?' He shook his head and continued to scroll downward, skimming over the first part, hoping something would catch his interest somewhere in the page.

All the band members appeared to be backstage after a live concert, but oddly they weren't exhausted, as they usually were, nor were they even sweaty. In fact, they seemed to be perfectly clean, smelling of flowers and citrus... though why those smells, he had no idea.

He slowed down his reading to catch exactly how everything else existed in this person's mind, now curious as to just how far out of touch with reality this poor fan seemed to be.

Aki seemed to be portrayed as an overly bouncy child, who liked to hang all over the other band members, even when they protested about his behavior. Frankly, he seemed more like an adolescent girl and Sotatsu vaguely wondered if the person writing this hadn't somehow projected themselves into Aki's portrayal.

Haruhiko was always referred to as Haru-chan by all the other members of the band, something that if any of them did, they'd likely have half a drum set stuffed up their ass in less than five seconds. Sotatsu snorted softly, a half amused grin on his face at that thought. He seemed to only be there for the fact that he was, indeed, a part of the band, and nothing more.

There were couches all over the place backstage, enough that each band member had their own to sprawl out over in fashions that seemed far from comfortable and closer to something one might see in some kind of porno magazine centerfold. When any of them talked, they always specifically addressed the person in question, leaving absolutely no question as to who they were talking to. Perhaps the most amusing of these sparse conversations, left Sotatsu gasping for air as he laughed harder than he had in a long time.

"Aki, would you close your legs over there? You look like you really really want Haru-chan to see up your skirt." Aki immediately closed his legs and blushed furiously. "Ishida-san!" Aki continues to blush as he folded his legs around one another.

Haru-chan smirked over at the short-skirted guitarist and arched an eyebrow suggestively. "Ishida-kun, maybe I want to see up his skirt!" Aki turned an impossible shade of pinkish-red and looked about to pop. "Haru-chan!" Sotatsu stormed into the room, broodingly silent, an almost deadly glare in his blackish eyes. "Fucking hell?! What in the hell are you guys doing? Having another fucking orgy in here or what?"

Sotatsu stopped laughing and arched an eyebrow at the screen. 'My my... I seem to have quite the temper in here!' Wanting to know more about what the author obviously thought about him, he quickly continued reading.

As things progressed, his character somehow managed to punch Ishida in the face for implying things about his sexuality, scream at Haru for trying to kiss Aki, and drag Aki off to a somehow "dark and secluded" part of the seemingly tiny room.

He couldn't help but wonder where the other crew members were, or even their manager. Besides that, what happened to the screaming fans that inevitably stayed after the concert, praying and hoping that they'd come back out on stage. They could always hear them afterward and sometimes he even took pity on them if they stayed a really long time after and would come back out and talk with some of them for a few minutes. He shrugged it off and continued reading.

Sotatsu slammed Aki's body back against the wall in a painful manner, ignoring the sound of dismay the guitarist let out. He leaned down so that his face was level with the shorter man's face.

'Wait... when did I get to be taller than Aki? I'm the shortest of all of us!' He snorted and then continued reading. 'Maybe they decided I was too short and needed to grow some.'

His hot breath filtered over the other man's face as he spoke in a low, threatening voice. "You know how I feel about you, why are you flirting around with the fucking drummer, you bitch?" Aki whimpered softly in the darkness. "I'm sorry, So-kun. You know I love only you and will never ever do anything to hurt you. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I just needed to air out after the concert and I figured you-" Sotatsu cut him off. "Figured you'd show everyone that you're not wearing any panties today?"

The guitarist squeaked as the bassists hand snaked it's way up his skirt and roughly groped his already hardened dick.

Sotatsu's eyes widened and he almost choked on the sip of flavored water that he'd just taken. 'What the fuck?! Since when am I in love with Aki? Not only that, but what in the hell am I doing feeling him up in front of the other band members and why aren’t they stopping me from being such an asshole? And... and... why in the hell would Aki be wearing panties? Panties are for women and Aki is for sure not a woman...' He set his cup down and began to skim the story again, not really wanting to read in depth about just how he'd violate their guitarist. In fact, the thought of doing and saying such horrible things to Aki make him feel slightly ill, especially given recent incidents.

As he continued reading he found that he was beginning to understand some of the story codes without really wanting to. M/M apparently meant two men in a sexually oriented situation. HJ was appearing to mean hand job, which is what Aki's character was giving his character in the story while he was going down on Aki... which was apparently the Oral code.

Now, how on earth Aki could reach his penis while he was kneeling in front of him, giving him head, was a whole other level of confusion. The only thing he could think was that possibly Aki had somehow earned himself super stretchy arms that bend it ways no human's arms should be able to. He winced as his character deep-throated Aki's character without so much as a single gag and Aki immediately shot his "white hot steaming load" down his throat as he screamed "So-kun" out quite loudly. 'Shouldn't that hurt or at least make me gag somewhat? Maybe my character has done this a lot or something?'

He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair and continued skimming the page, thankful that the slide bar was almost to the bottom of the page.

Suddenly the point of view shifted and all the other band members were back and the room wasn't dark anymore. Sotatsu and Aki were both pulling their clothing back on and everyone else was chattering away as though nothing had happened.

"Hey!" Sotatsu stared at the screen, now slightly miffed. He grumbled to himself under his breath, not really caring that he was talking to himself now. "I didn't even get to cum... what kind of crap is that?" He glared at the screen as he continued past idle conversation and what possibly ranked up to the worst ending point in the world. He read the authors parting note only to see if perhaps they didn't intend to end there and were simply interrupted while writing or something.

End Note - So how wuz it, guyz? I just luv how Aki submits to So-chan so easily!! Its adorable, don't ya think? I'm thinkin' next time maybe Aki and Ishida can get it on. Whadda ya think? Review or rabid bunnies will eat your soul!!!!

Sotatsu stared at the author's note, wondering just who had let this fan online to post such rubbish and then somehow proudly proclaim it to be a story. Whoever it was, they should be shot for allowing such a thing to occur.

He hit the review button and began to type, not really knowing where his comment was leading, nor why he was even bothering in the first place. It wasn't like the story deserved his comment, nor the waste of his time to type it out... yet here he was, typing one out for them.

Name: Misguided_Soul  
Email: Misguided.Soul@gmail.com

Dear Remedy,

I have read your fanfiction. I have quite a few comments I'd like to make on it. Please do hear me out, because I think it could also help you to improve your writing a great deal.

First, I do not think your beta reader did their job as well as they could have. There were still quite a few mistakes that should have been caught by even a brief skimming over of the story. Perhaps you should look into getting another one.

Next, why were the band members not tired and sweaty after a live concert? Did you mean prior to the live perhaps? Bands usually stink to high heaven when they are done with a show. Also there are not usually couches backstage... at least to my knowledge. Perhaps it is different in America than in Japan?

Why does Aki dress and act like a girl all the time? If I had not known who you were supposed to be talking about, I would have assumed it was a thirteen year old girl with some kind of attention disorder. Not to be rude, but Aki does not strike me that way at all. In fact, I find him to be fairly masculine in his actions, despite going through a phase several years ago where he wore skirts in published photos.

Why is Haruhiko referred to as Haru-chan by all the band members? I get the impression that if someone really did that to Haruhiko that he'd likely attempt to maim them in some form or fashion just so that they'd never say it again.

Why is Sotatsu so violent? As far as I know, his stage personality is quiet and reserved, perhaps the most professional out of all of the band members. Did Aki and the others perhaps anger him in some prior story that I did not read?

Something that really bothers me... why did none of the other band members try to put a stop to what he was doing to Aki? Surely they would have cared enough about their guitarist to help him?

If you were going for realistic portrayals of the band, I fear that you didn't catch it very well. If you were simply going for using the band members as characters to play out an original story you made up, then I suppose it's just fine.

Lastly, your paragraphing needs work... lots of it. Generally, you put the actions of one character into the same paragraph that they speak in and then make a new paragraph for the next character's actions/words. Also, in general conversation, most people do not use the person's name they are talking to, over and over again. It is simply implied that the person knows they are being spoken to, usually with a look in their general direction or the fact that you were talking to them prior to that.

I hope that you can find some use in some of what I have said. Feel free to email me if you would like clarification on anything, as I would be more than happy to provide it.

Sincerely,  
Misguided_Soul

He sighed as he sat back and pushed the review button. The page reloaded and showed him a page full of reviews, which he promptly ignored and closed the browser. 'Just reading that thing made me tired...' He closed the laptop and stood up. As he moved toward the bed, he yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it back onto the chair and then began to undo his jeans. He shoved them down his hips and plopped onto the bed, pulling them the rest of the way off and letting them fall in an undignified heap on the floor.

He slid his legs onto the bed and pulled the covers up around himself before closing his eyes and willing sleep to come... hopefully minus any dreadful dreams conjured from the reading of fanfiction. His last thought before being sucked into his dreams was that of wondering if all fanfiction was that bad or if some of it managed to capture their real personalities and possible actions.


	19. Chapter 19

Sotatsu leaned back in the booth of the tiny internet café that they had found the night before on their way back from necessary shopping, watching his friend and band mate. Somehow most of Aki's clothing had been stolen while they had all been at the hospital and it had taken the majority of the week for Aki to heal enough to go out and try on clothing. Whoever had taken his possessions had promptly put all of it up on the internet for sale, something that Ishida had found out early this morning.

Aki was currently seated at one of the computers desperately bidding on his favorite pair of boots. Each time someone outbid him, he made a low wailing sound and would then frantically type in a higher price and bid against them. The price of the pair of boots suddenly shot up to 58825 yen and Aki let out a cry of sorrow and pawed at the screen.

Sotatsu silently sipped his tea as he glanced over at Haru, who looked like he was just about as frustrated as their guitarist.

"Aki... give up. We can get you another pair of those boots, even if we have to get someone to make them for you. Surely it'll be cheaper than this." Haru looked pleadingly at the guitarist. "Besides, we'll be here all day if you keep this up. There's still thirteen hours on that auction. Surely you don't intend to pay for thirteen hours of internet time here?"

Aki stared at the screen and sniffed lightly before signing out and closing the browser. He carefully got up from the booth, leaving the computer behind as it ticked off the last few seconds of his pre-paid time. Giving it one last glare, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the cafe and started off down the street, both Sotatsu and Haru rushing to keep up.

"Oi... where on Earth are you off to so fast?" Sotatsu rushed after his friend, finally catching up and gently clasping his forearm. "Hey... what gives?"

Aki glowered at the ground for a moment before deciding to speak. "I'm going to get Hatori and Ishida. We may as well eat something instead of just drinking tea all day, right?"

Haru caught up to the two, managing to overhear the word eat. He grinned at Aki and linked arms with him. "Food, huh? I could do with some of that."

Aki beamed at him. "Yup... and with everyone! We're gonna go get Hatori and Ishida from that stupid game shop we left them at!"

Haru grinned at him and they all three started off once more in the direction of the shop.

Once they had extracted the two gaming fiends from the shop, plus a few shopping bags and minus a good chunk of money, they headed off toward a nearby bistro that Aki had spotted earlier.

"It smells so good!" Aki rushed ahead of the others, showing a surprising amount of energy given how short a timeframe it had been since his hospital stay. He bounded through the door of the little restaurant, little chimes on the door announcing his presence to the owner. He plunked down at the closest table and pulled a menu closer to his face as he carefully studied it. By the time the other four men had caught up with him, he was already in process of ordering. He grinned up at them as they entered. "Finally!"

Haru and Ishida laughed softly. Hatori and Sotatsu shared a look. They all seated themselves around the small table, finding that they were all in very close quarters now. Haru was practically sitting on Ishida's hip to avoid sitting on Aki's. Ishida was half sitting on Hatori's chair, staring warily at the drummer who was hogging part of his seat. Hatori was simply enjoying how close Ishida was to him and Sotatsu was the only one not squished against anyone else, having found his chair first.

Aki proudly beamed at them all. "I ordered for all of us, drinks and all. I know you'll love what I got you, I promise! It's my treat tonight, for all of you, for taking such good care of me!"

Ishida arched an eyebrow at him. "You mean to tell me the fangirls didn't make off with your wallet too?"

Aki scratched his head. "No, they took my wallet and stuff out and left it all on the dresser. Weird, huh?"

Sotatsu snorted. "I guess that means they thought that would be too rude to steal your money and ID."

Aki reached over and grabbed Haru's arm. He leaned against him and sighed, a dreamy look on his face as he gazed up into the face of his lover. "Good thing they didn't take you too!"

Haru laughed. "Never. Just let them try!"

Their drinks arrived and Aki bounced excitedly in his seat. "Taste it, Haru!" He pushed the drummer's drink closer to him.

The drummer eyed the frothy blue liquid with slight distaste. "You didn't..."

"I did!" Aki bounced more, still clinging to the drummer's arm. "Drink someeeeeee," he whined loudly.

Haru rolled his eyes and grabbed the bright red straw, sucking some of the flavored drink up and into his mouth. He made a slightly funny face and then cocked an eyebrow at the guitarist as he swallowed. "Not quite what I expected, but that's a good thing... I think."

Aki laughed and snuggled against his lover's arm. "I knew you hated the blueberry one, so I got you vanilla boba and asked for them to use blue food coloring in it just to scare you!"

Haru snorted softly. "You're too sneaky for your own good sometimes, you know that?"

Aki batted his eyelashes at the drummer. "And why is that?"

Haru opened his mouth and then promptly closed it, looking slightly sad and annoyed at the same time as he looked away. "...Nothing... just forget it." 'Why is it so hard to not come onto him? What am I, some kind of depraved sex fiend? I really need to stop that... hurting him is the last thing I want to do.' He glanced back at the guitarist who looked greatly deflated from his prior happiness. "Aww, don't look so down. What's wrong?"

Aki shook his head and plastered the best fake smile he could muster on his face as he took huge gulps from his own boba. 'Every time I try to lead him toward making some kind of advance on me, he steers away from it just as quickly. It hurts... to think he'll never want me again the way he used to. That bastard of a guy wrecked my relationship...' His eyes found Haru's for a brief moment, but he quickly looked away to mask the pain he was feeling, the stupid grin still plastered on his face. It wouldn't go away; it was just stuck there, unwilling to leave. Even when their food arrived and they began to eat, the blasted fake smile still remained upon his lips.

Ishida and Hatori keep casting worried glances at one another throughout the entire meal. Sotatsu remained his normal quiet, secluded self and Haru simply chose to stare at his plate the entire time. Aki ate slowly, the fake smile never once faltering.

When the bill arrived, Aki quickly paid for it, giving the waitress a genuine smile that only lasted for an instant. As they made their way back toward the hotel, Aki decided he'd try one last time. Maybe, just maybe, Haru wasn't reading his signals the right way. He reached out and grabbed the drummer's hand and held it tightly in his own, slowly but surely forcing them to fall behind the others. Once they were in the back of the group, he paused and pressed himself into the drummer's arms, leaning up and gently kissing Haru.

Haru responded to the kiss at first, just as he normally would. After a moment though, he tried to pull away.

Aki wouldn't allow it and clung to him almost desperately, trying to deepen the kiss even as Haru tried to pull away. 'Please... oh god, please. Don't pull away...'

Haru let out a soft groan and finally wrenched himself free of Aki's grasp. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and then grabbed Aki's hand and began to drag him off toward the rest of the group, who hadn't noticed they'd fallen behind. "They're leaving us behind."

Aki stumbled along behind Haru, allowing him to half drag him toward the others. Once they had caught up, Haru let go of his hand and jammed his hands into his pockets, distancing himself from Aki. 'I promised not to hurt him and I won't.' He glanced over at the guitarist, who once more looked incredibly sad. 'I'm doing the right thing... I'm protecting him from my lust. He has no idea what he does to me with his little innocent kisses and touches. If he did, he wouldn't be doing it.' He looked over at the love of his life once again, sadness filling his eyes before he looked away. 'I want him so bad it hurts... but I can't. I refuse to do that to him.' He shook his head without even realizing he was actually doing it. 'I'll never hurt him. I love him far too much. I just have to find something else to distract me... that's all. Maybe a nice warm shower with the door locked when we get back... yeah, that sounds good.' He sped up his steps toward the hotel, which now loomed before them like some giant beacon in the semi-darkness.

Aki remained silent the rest of the way to the hotel. He stood quietly in the corner of the elevator, as far from everyone else as he could get, waiting on it to come to the floor for Haru's room. He jumped slightly when a pair of arms wrapped around him and soft breath tickled his ear. He opened his eyes and Hatori clinging to him.

"Thank you for dinner tonight. It was really good."

Hatori's voice was soft and caring in his ear and it caressed his aching heart ever so gently, putting him slightly at ease. He smiled slightly and gently hugged him back. "You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it."

Hatori's eyes met his for a moment and he smiled softly at him. "See you tomorrow." He pulled away and exited the elevator, trailing after Ishida down the hallway.

Aki watched until the elevator door slid closed again. They made one more stop to let Sotatsu off on his floor, briefly exchanging goodnights with him. Silence prevailed for the rest of the ride and continued as they made their way to the room.

Haru flipped on a light and made a quick check of the room before heading toward the bathroom. "I'm going to take my shower."

Aki nodded as he latched the door in every way possible. He wandered over to his bed and slid down onto it before slowly turning onto his side and staring with an unseeing gaze at the wall. 'He doesn't want me anymore... because that bastard raped me, my own lover, my heart and soul, doesn't want to even touch me anymore. I repulse him... he can't even tolerate kissing me...' His eyes filled with tears until they spilled over and ran silently down his cheek, wetting the bedspread beneath him with their pain. He closed his eyes and tried to let it all go, all the pain, all the need, all the desire, every bit of it. Somewhere in the midst of his attempt to lock all of his emotions away, he fell asleep.

Haru came out of the shower and dressed quickly. He went over to Aki's bed to tell him the shower was free, only to find him asleep already. He gently pulled the guitarist into his arms and managed to get the covers down enough to slip Aki beneath them. He pulled his sandals off and tossed them to the side of the room before tucking him in and gently cupping his cheek for a moment.

The tears had long since dried, so Haru took no notice of them whatsoever, blissfully unaware of the pain he had caused his lover. He went to his own bed and crawled in, yawning and almost immediately falling into a light sleep.

Aki's dreams were anything but pleasant that night, consisting of just how he thought Haru would react if he tried to go any further with him. Harsh, painful, heart-wrenching words spilled from Haru's lips in his dreams, causing the tears to come, even in his sleep. But, as they usually were, they remained silent and the real Haru remained clueless to his love's heartache.


	20. Chapter 20

Tears silently slid down cheeks that were once alight with sensation and happiness. Tonight everything had been broken... broken in ways the guitarist hadn't thought were possible. A shiver ran down his spine, causing his body to shake with the force of it. He curled into the corner of the room, wishing against all hope that he could simply disappear.

The man had come back... the tall, dark aggressor who'd attacked him over a week ago. He'd come and simply stood there, doing nothing, just staring at him for hours. Then Haru had walked in and come to stand exactly where the man was at. The man had dissipated into vapor and nothing more... a mere figment of his imagination.

But that hadn't been the worst part... not by far. What had happened next was worse than anything Aki had been through thus far. Haru had stepped toward him and then taken him by the arm and pulled him into his arms. At first, Aki had been pleased by this development, wanting his lover to want him again, desperately craving what they'd had before. But then when Haru had pulled back... everything had changed.

The room was darker than before, a faint stench of blood underlying everything else, lingering on his senses, refusing to let go. The look in Haru's eyes was that of some kind of depraved animal. His fingers had tightened on Aki's arm and he'd slammed him back against the wall, pushing his entire body against the guitarist's.

"Is this what you want? You want me to rape you? You're disgusting... you pervert!"

Aki's blood had run cold at the words and when Haru had leaned in to kiss him, he'd turned his head away. For that action, he'd earned a black eye and a bloody lip. He could taste the metallic flavor of it, feel the heat of it running down his chin. He'd stared at Haru, absolutely terrified, unsure and unable to convince himself this was really happening. He'd closed his eyes tightly and prayed that when he opened them, he'd find Haru smiling at him and gently holding him.

His eyes slid open and he was met with the site of Haru stroking himself off while licking blood from his fingers. He stared at the other man, warning bells going off in his head. Run... get away while you can. Something screamed at him to do it, but his body wouldn't comply. Instead a muffled sob escaped his lips and he sank to the floor in front of Haru.

His dark haired lover came to stand over him, his hand still running aggressively over his cock. He reached down and grabbed Aki's hair, yanking harshly. "Slut... do your damn job. It's what you want, right? You want my cock in your mouth, up your ass, inside of you every way possible... isn't that what you've been trying to force me into? Now you've got it, you bitch! So do it!"

Aki opened his mouth in protest, trying to tell Haru that it wasn't just about the sex, it was about the closeness, the knowledge that he could still be desired, that he was still his lover. Before any words could leave his lips, Haru's cock invaded his mouth. He took the abuse of Haru roughly fucking his mouth until the drummer came in his mouth and pulled away. He felt too weak to argue, too scared to do anything but swallow as he was supposed to and turn away.

He pulled himself into the corner once more and allowed the tears to fall freely. Haru simply sat on the bed flipping the television channels. After a while, Aki found the courage to speak once more. "All I wanted was to be loved, Haru... to know that you could still want me after what happened. But I was wrong! You're just like him now!" A soft sob escaped him and he looked away, staring at the ground, his entire body shaking with the force of his tears. He reached for the ring Haru had given him and pulled it off. His eyes flitted over the engraved message for an instant and then he looked back up at Haru, who was smirking down at him. He pulled his hand back and launched the ring at Haru's head. "You lied, you bastard... I hate you!"

Aki jerked awake, his breath coming in short gasps. He sat up, pushing sticky sheets away from him in the darkness of the room and then simply sat there in the middle of the bed, his arms wrapped around his small frame. He couldn't stop shaking... no matter how hard he tried to still it, he simply couldn't.

As the dream began to fade from his mind he realized that he really could smell blood, that that wasn't just a part of the dream. His eyes widened slightly and he reached for the bedside lamp, half afraid of what he'd find. His fingers fumbled with the switch, but he finally got it. He stared in shock at his hand. It was covered in deep crimson, streaks going up his arm as well. Shaking even more, he pulled his hand back and quickly began to try to assess what had happened.

His shirt was streaked with dried blood and when he licked his lips he could taste blood on his tongue. He swallowed hard and slowly pulled up his nightshirt revealing his naked form. Slowly he spread his legs, only to find more blood smeared down his thighs and over his testicles. He let out a terrified sob, his body still shaking. A startled gasp earned his attention just before hands covered his own and Haru's worried face appeared in his vision.

"Oh god... what happened? Where are you bleeding from?" The drummer's hands moved quickly over his body, moving him so that he could find the source of the blood. He quickly came to one conclusion, but it confused him more than anything he'd ever seen. "Aki... why? I don't understand..." Haru's grey eyes met Aki's blue-grey ones, concern written over his entire face.

Aki stared up at him, obviously confused. "Why what?"

"You... you did this to yourself." Haru's hands were trembling as he settled them on Aki's thighs.

Aki blinked at him for a moment and then realized that nothing really hurt, there was just blood... a lot of it. He bowed his head, realizing that what he'd originally thought of as harmless behavior was rapidly turning into something threatening. "I... I don't mean to." Slowly he drew his shirt up again, turning it up at the hem and examining it, finding exactly what he'd expected... dried semen. He tried to pull away from Haru, desperately wanting to go to the bathroom to wash away his sins.

Haru reached out and pulled Aki into his arms and held him firmly there. "What's been going on? Please... talk to me."

Aki shook his head and then realized he was clinging to the drummer as though he were his life line and if he let go, he'd fall to his death. A sick feeling pooled in the bottom of his stomach. "I... I've been acting out my dreams in my sleep lately. Ever since I was attacked..." He could feel Haru flinch, but his embrace never faltered. "Usually, I just end up touching myself and find out when I wake up in the morning... but I... well... I had a bad dream this time."

Haru held tightly to the guitarist, unwilling to let him go at all, least he stop talking. "About?"

"You." The word was uttered softly, almost mouthed rather than spoken, but Haru didn't miss it.

"Me..."

Aki nodded and broke down into tears again. "You... you don't want me anymore. You think I'm disgusting and ruined. You won't let me get close to you anymore and... and... in the dream you said I was a slut and a pervert for wanting you after what happened. That I just wanted you to use me and then you hit me and forced me to give you a blowjob and then I got mad and threw my ring at you and called you a liar."

Haru pulled back enough to see Aki's face, shock clearly defined on his gentle features. "I... oh god, Aki." He pulled him back into his arms and slowly rocked him. Tears formed in his eyes and silently fell down his cheeks. "I'd never call you a slut or force you to do something to me. I don't think you're disgusting or ruined and..." he sighed softly, "let me explain why I've been acting different... please?"

Aki nodded against Haru's shoulder.

"I'm scared to death... scared I'll do something wrong, scared that if I show you how I feel about certain things that you'll hate me or be afraid of me because of it. I..." he buried his nose in Aki's hair for a moment and closed his eyes. "You've always had a certain way with me... you can just look at me the right way and I'm instantly turned on. That hasn't changed... you still make me want you. The other day, I thought I was going to have to lock myself in the bathroom all night to try to hide it from you that you got me all worked up at dinner and on the way back here. I promised not to hurt you, Aki... and I won't. I won't hurt you with my selfish desires or my lust. I keep pulling away because it's what I'm supposed to do. I guess you just have no idea how easily you get to me... how much I miss being with you when you're only a few feet away from me."

Aki's arms tightened around Haru and he gently rubbed his cheek against the drummer's shoulder. "You're wrong, Haru... so very wrong. I need you most of all right now. I need to know I'm wanted, that you can still look at me the same way, that nothing's changed between us, that I don't disgust you. All I want is what we used to have. This distance between us is driving me crazy inside. That asshole may have hurt me, he may have damn near killed me, but he didn't rob me of my desire for you. I'm not sure anything could take that away from me, to be honest..."

Haru gently pulled Aki away from his shoulder and slid his hand along his lover's jaw. His grey eyes sparkled almost brilliantly in the harsh hotel lighting. "I love you so much..." With that, he leaned in and captured Aki's lips with his own.

Immediately Aki responded to the kiss, his tongue demanding entrance into the drummer's mouth and almost instantly receiving it. He moaned softly against his lips as he clung to the fabric of Haru's shirt.

Slowly Haru drew back from the kiss, gently disentangling his hands from Aki's nightshirt and hair and pulling the guitarist to his feet. "Let's go get you cleaned up... okay?"

Aki nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips as Haru guided him into the small bathroom. As Haru removed his clothes, he felt a sense of peace settle over him that he'd been lacking these past few weeks. Haru guided him into the shower and almost immediately, he fell into his lover's arms, needing the comfort and support he knew that only Haru could provide. Strong arms settled around him and simply held him beneath the warm stream of water.

"Haru?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."


	21. Chapter 21

Haori leaned back against the leather booth and let out a soft sigh. It had been a long day for all of them, but the blonde teen had felt as though he were being drug around as nothing but a third wheel the entire time. Now they were all seated in a large booth inside of an expensive looking sushi restaurant and he was once more feeling like a part of the group, rather then a burden. For the first time all day he managed to let a smile slip onto his lips.

Ishida immediately noticed when the blonde smiled and he beamed back at him. "Sorry about today... we just had a lot to do."

Hatori shrugged. "And I was more in the way than anything. It's okay. You could have just left me in the hotel room."

The vocalist shook his head. "No way. I would never dream of just ditching you in the hotel... besides, it's not safe enough anymore..." his eyes fell on their guitarist and he gave the other man a sad look.

Aki leaned back against his lover and Haru slid an arm around his waist. "He's right... it's not safe to just stay there alone."

The waitress appeared with their order and then left them alone once more.

Hatori examined his plate and prodded the sushi roll with his chopstick as if it would jump off the plate at him.

Sotatsu laughed softly. "We ordered you the spider roll. It's cooked."

Hatori looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Oh... thank you."

Ishida grinned and slid his arm around his lover. "It's okay, non-cooked fish isn't really my thing either. You get used to it, but it takes some doing. Try yours though. I promise it's good... my favorite."

That was all it took to get Hatori moving. He delicately picked up one piece of the roll and started to take a bite from it.

Ishida snatched it out of his chopsticks and shoved the entire piece into his mouth. "Eat the whole thing at once, it's how you're supposed to."

Hatori stared wide-eyed at the vocalist as he attempted to chew without opening his mouth. Once he had swallowed he protested. "Hey... that's a huge bite, there's no way that's acceptable table manners."

Ishida and the others laughed. Aki spoke up from his spot against his lover, "No, he's not lying. You really do put the entire piece in your mouth at once. Foreigners always look so funny trying to bite half off and ending up with a lap full of the other half. Waste not, want not."

Hatori picked up the next piece and forcibly shoved the entire thing into his mouth. He was certain he looked like a puffer fish with his cheeks all puffed out and full of food. He blushed and stared down at his plate as he continued to eat his meal.

By the time he was done, the others were all chatting quietly around him. He sat back, placed his chopsticks on his plate, and took a sip of tea, watching them as they passed a magazine around.

Aki glanced up once he was holding the magazine again and grinned. "You're in here, you know."

Hatori almost choked on his tea. "Huh?"

"The article. They printed it up exceptionally fast. They're usually months behind on photo shoots. I guess they wanted to get it printed up while you were still here or something." He held the magazine out across the table to Hatori, his finger marking a page.

Hatori took the magazine and flipped open to where Aki had marked it. A glossy photograph of him and Ishida engaged in the lip lock of the century headed the page. All he could read of the rest of it was his own first name and Ishida's name. He flipped through the pages and a few more of them together littered the ten page spread. The rest were of the other band members together as well as Haru and Ishida's sexy little endeavor.

He held the magazine back out to Aki and offered up a smile. "I hate to admit this, but while I can speak some Japanese, I can't read it... at least not unless it's in romaji. Even then, I’m pretty shaky."

Aki grinned. "Want to know the general gist of what they printed then?"

Hatori nodded. "Please."

Aki began to read from the magazine.

Ishida, the vocalist of Rise of the Setting Sun, declares official romance with a fan, Hatori. Our photographers caught the two in an intimate embrace during the band's latest photo session. The vocalist declared how he felt to the American, choosing some pretty intense words to back up his feelings before kissing the eighteen year old.

Robbing the cradle you ask? We think not. After all, Ishida has declared his age to be twenty one. That's not so much of a gap as to call it robbing the cradle. At least the youth is of legal age in his country. Wouldn't want to be caught with your pants around your ankles if he wasn't, Ishida!

The two look as though they are completely enamored with one another and Ishida's fellow band mates seem to agree that they are. There's not even a shadow of a doubt that the two have already progressed beyond the formalities of dating, we just wonder how long that took. After all, a fan and his idol? Who wouldn't jump at the chance to get into their idol's pants. Stolen any of his clothes yet, Hatori?

We took the opportunity to ask them a few questions and get a few answers. The blonde teenager seems to know his conversational Japanese pretty well, good for him!

Cure: Are you two officially dating?  
Ishida: Yes

Cure: How do you think your fans are going to take this?  
Ishida: How should they take it?

Cure: Well, it is huge news after all. You're with another man, basically declaring you're off the market and gay in one breath.  
Ishida: I am not gay, I am bisexual. So is Hatori. And yes, he and I are exclusive.

Cure: Hatori, how did you two meet?  
Hatori: My brother, Maru, won this artwork contest that the band put on and won a free month with them. He gave me the trip as a gift.

Cure: Ishida, what do you plan on doing once he must go back to America?  
Ishida: If you're asking if it ends then, it won't. We'll find a way to work around the fact that we live in different countries.

Well, you all heard it here first: Ishida's off the market, ladies... and gentlemen. Let's hope the fans don't mind!

In other news, the band is holding a promotional concert in a few weeks at Liquid Lounge. Hatori should still be around, so maybe you will all get a glimpse of him as well! He's not bad to look at either. Maybe this can be considered fan service?

Rumor has it that Aki, the guitarist, and Haruhiko, the drummer have a thing going. Aki was seen being carried out of the hospital in Haruhiko's arms by a few fans. They didn't present us any clear photographs, so we have no way of proving it. But if rumors prove true, look out fangirls, we suspect the heat on stage will get turned up even more than usual. A drummer in fan service? We haven't seen that in a while. Let the sparks fly, boys!

Aki looked up at Hatori and rolled his eyes. "They could seriously do to have someone not so over the top to write up their articles." He laughed softly as he closed the magazine. "And can you say double check your facts? If they'd even bothered to try to contact Haru or I, we wouldn't have hidden it from them."

Hatori grinned. "It's easier and more fun to taunt the fans. At least that usually seems to be the goal when I get a hold of translated interviews." He tilted his head. "What does daisuki mean?"

Aki's eyes widened a bit, Ishida's face flushed pink, and Sotatsu let out a low whistle. Haru decided to field the question. "It means I like you a lot. It's the closest thing most people ever say to I love you here."

Hatori's heart beat rapidly in his chest as he turned to look at Ishida. He opened his mouth and got a finger pressed against his lips.

"I..." Ishida took a calming breath, "I was wondering when you were going to ask about that..." His finger left Hatori's lips.

"I filed it away to find out at some point... then everything got so hectic, I kept forgetting to." He glanced at Aki and Haru, giving them a sad look. "Did you really mean to say it? If you didn't... I understand." He blinked back the tears that were now burning behind his eyes and making his eyes sting.

"I meant every word of it and I still do. I didn't say it in English because I didn't want to scare you..."

Hatori threw himself into the vocalist's arms. "I've dreamed of hearing such things from you... it'd never scare me." He raised his head and gave Ishida a watery smile. "Daisuki, Ishida... daisuki."

The vocalist pulled Hatori back into his arms. A wide grin broke out across his face and he buried his nose in the blonde's hair.

"Don't leave me... I... I don't think I could handle it."

"I won't leave you, Hatori. I promise. We'll find a way to work things out when it's time for you to go home. Okay?"

Hatori nodded and continued to cling to the vocalist. Ishida continued to breathe in the scent that belonged only to his lover. Three sets of eyes watched them, two with similar happiness reflected in their own and one with something akin to envy pooling in their depths.


	22. Chapter 22

Ishida sat back, threw his arm around his lover and grinned. "So, how'd you like it?"

Hatori grinned behind his hair. "I like it. Not my favorite, but up there."

Aki stared up at them from the floor. "What's your favorite video of ours then?"

Since he genuinely looked curious about it, Hatori decided to indulge them, "Watashi no te no chi ."

Sotatsu spoke up from the other side of Ishida, "Really? I'd have thought it'd have been something softer, not sure why."

Hatori shook his head. "Nah, I liked the fact that there was so much fan service and that Ishida's vocals really came across as emotional as I thought they should have. Sometimes the songs just feel so flat when they're recorded in the studio and don't have that jolt that they do when done live. But in that case, you all managed to keep the emotion in it."

Haru came back into the room and passed around the drinks he'd been making in the kitchenette of the suite. He grinned at Hatori. "No booze for you, sorry!"

Hatori stared down at the fruity looking drink he held. "That's fine. I don't really want to get drunk and not remember any of this anyway." He took a sip of the drink and looked slightly surprised. "It tastes like pineapple."

The drummer plopped down on the floor beside his lover. "Is that okay?"

"Yup, just fine." He smiled and took another sip of it.

Ishida eyed the drummer suspiciously. "Are you certain there's no alcohol in there?"

Haru looked offended. "Of course there's not! Why would I do that? It'd get us all in trouble if anyone found out."

Ishida shrugged. "I seem to recall you getting me wasted a few years ago under the pretense that some pineapple drink didn't have alcohol in it."

He snorted. "That was different. We just wanted to loosen you up and get to know who you really were instead of that mask you'd put on for us."

Hatori watched the exchange, a small smile on his face. As the argument continued, his eyes fell upon Aki. The guitarist had finished his drink and was well onto working on Haru's already. Something just didn't strike him quite right about the whole thing. The only one he'd ever heard about drinking in excess was actually Haru and he could swear he'd read somewhere that Aki hated alcohol.

Aki's eyes met his for a moment before he tipped the glass and drained the rest of the contents in one go. The guitarist stood and headed for the kitchenette with both glasses in hand, remaining unnoticed by everyone except Hatori.

The blonde teen got up and followed, excusing himself with the excuse of the restroom, which was in the same direction. But rather than head for the bathroom, he entered the kitchenette and watched as Aki made two more drinks, giving his glass twice the amount of alcohol that he gave Haru's. He turned around and almost ran right into Hatori. He blinked slowly at him. "What're you doing in here?"

Unsure where exactly the line was drawn at that he could cross, he hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I... I thought you didn't like to drink."

"I don't." With that, the guitarist pushed past him and went back to the others.

Hatori headed for the bathroom, quickly used it, and returned to the others. He sat down beside Ishida, who was still barely sipping on his own drink, his eyes still focused on only one person in the room.

Ishida immediately noticed the direction of Hatori's attention and began to evaluate why the guitarist had his attention for the night. The answer became apparent as soon as Aki lifted his glass and drained over half of it before stopping. Shocked was and understatement. He'd never seen the guitarist so much as drink more than one tiny mostly non-alcoholic drink before, much less appear to be honestly trying to get drunk.

For the next hour, the pattern continued on with only Ishida and Hatori seeming to notice. Drink after drink disappeared down Aki's throat and the vast majority of each of Haru's drinks did as well.

It all came to an abrupt stop when Aki tried to get up and ended up sprawled across Haru's lap instead.

Haru stared down at Aki, for a moment completely unsure why the guitarist was laying on him. When Aki began grappling at him to get up, drunkenly rambling about getting more to drink, he slid his arms around the guitarist's waist and held him firmly in place. "I don't think that's such a good idea, love..."

Aki protested and struggled against the hold his lover had on him.

"No. No more to drink for you. You've had far more than enough." Haru looked over Aki's head, his gaze questioning both Hatori and Ishida. When they both shook their heads, he sighed and stood up, plucking his inebriated lover from the floor. "We're going to bed."

The other three nodded, watching intently as the couple staggered off down the hallway. Once the door at the end of the hall slammed shut, they all looked at one another.

Sotatsu was the first to speak up, "That was certainly odd."

"Yeah... not at all like him. Something's wrong between them still... I'd bet my savings on it."

Hatori nodded in agreement. "I asked him earlier when I went to the bathroom... he said he doesn't like to drink, when I pointed out I thought I'd read that he didn't. Then he kinda pushed past me to get away."

Ishida shook his head. "I hope Haru understands what he's dealing with more than we do. Otherwise this could get ugly real fast."

"My room's right next to theirs. I'm going to go sit in there to make sure nothing goes wrong... okay?"

The vocalist nodded and Sotatsu headed off down the hall.

*

Haru stared down at his lover, who had managed to get as far as the edge of the bed before passing out. He sighed softly as he removed Aki's clothes, leaving him clad in only his boxers. His fingers gently caressed his lover's cheek. "What's wrong, love? What's so bad that you have to get drunk to solve it?"

He turned away, shaking his head as he removed his own clothing. He moved the covers back and managed to get Aki under them before turning off the lamp and tucking Aki in beside of him.

He closed his eyes, sliding one arm around his lover's waist, and burying his nose in jet black hair. Perhaps tomorrow would bring answers and a brighter outlook.


End file.
